Background - Bruce McDonald

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Background - Bruce McDonald

Postby bruce macdonald » Tue Sep 20, 2011 12:48 am

my story begins about two years ago when my famaley was attacked on new years eve on the famaley farm were i grew up. lord Ebenezer church hill an old English baren decied that are taxes we gave him was not enough and wanted to take my family and get them arrested and sold the farm i got away since i fought off the guards. my famaley not so lucky so im on a qest to find them. the members that wer taken my brother robert, my sister ann, my mom bridget. and my dad Daniel were sent to an island with a prison tower on it. the man who took my family had a scar on his right eye going down said by the name of king and lord Ebenezer church hill I captain Winston Taylor have come to arrests you for not paying taxes . the reason i know all this is because i played dumb as a to my family servant. now as for my training that started 5 years ago for I did not want to stay on the farm I wanted adventure. knights of rose and cross came into my life when my teacher came to talk to me about my talents and he could use talent like me alongside him and his friends. and that was a week before the attack as I was getting ready to leave for my adventures since my training was complete. and since it was a one time offer I said yes. and when i can i am putting 9 xp points towards this back story
Last edited by bruce macdonald on Tue May 08, 2012 1:35 pm, edited 8 times in total.
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Re: Background - Bruce McDonald

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Tue Sep 20, 2011 1:18 pm

Ok this is a start but I’m really going to need more information. First, I’m guessing the background is Orphaned, which is fine. However it brings with it a bunch of questions and comments.

First, you are probably referring to indentured servitude (a contract between the lord and your family stipulating an amount of time they will work for a loan or some other monies or goods to be paid at an agreed upon time by the lord). It can’t be slavery since that is illegal in all civilized places in Theah (the Crescents still engage in slavery, and are thus considered barbarians).

If that’s so, the lord could not (legally at least) steal your family away. I’m not saying he couldn’t have ordered it done, just that it would be illegal (not to mention that if he were discovered, it would get him in deep trouble with his clan (whom your family would, most likely, been a part of), his fellow nobles and The High King, James MacDuff II).

Ok next, you are a Knight of the Rose and Cross. When did that come about in your story? Did this attack happen just recently while you were out? Was it many years ago and you’ve since moved on? Was it something else entirely?

Also, you are a swordsman, MacDonald if I recall correctly. Even if you weren’t a swordsman the Knights would still take you (though you’d probably have been trained in Desaix, the Knights’ school). But you have a Highland school, which probably means you learned earlier. When did this come about and how did it affect the kidnapping event?

If you were in the house when this happened, who actually did the deed? Was there something interesting/descriptive you remember about the person/people who came in and stole your entire family? Why didn’t they take you? Or if they did, where did you end up?

If you weren’t in the house at the time, how are you on your family’s trail? Did you read something, see something, interrogate the lord, etc. that gave you a place to start looking? And again, how do the Knights of the Rose and Cross fit into that? Are they helping you? Have they reached a dead-end?

Back to the event, I have yet to see a bad guy. You’ve mentioned the lord but we don’t really know if he is the bad guy or if he’s just a puppet for someone else. And what about those who did the deed? I’d love to have someone you can hate running things.

Finally, how does Altamira fit into all of this? As the crow flies, you are about 1200 miles away from your home. In our time that’s a big trip, in 1667 it’s nearly unheard of for peasants to make that kind of trip (assuming they didn’t become a sailor). Speaking of, travel by ship takes 2-3 weeks (that is, assuming your ship can breeze by the Montaigne Navy’s embargo of Castille). Did you hear something that tells you Altamira is your next step in finding your parents? Maybe one of the kidnapers spoke Castillian? During the fight your father (who seemed to know more about what was going on) said to look for him in Altamira?

So chew on those ideas a bit and then add some more details to your story.

Mark

EDIT: Oh yea one more thing. I don't know how many Hero Points you put into this background (it will determine how many adventures I need to write). So let me know that in the edit too.
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