Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Wed Aug 26, 2020 9:21 pm

It was not that donut.

Ok, this evening's contemplation as you go to sleep:

Is there anything more midwest American than eating McDonald's cheeseburgers and drinking a Coke in your car while listening to John (Cougar) Mellancamp on the radio?

I ask because i ordered the chicken with a sprite and the Rolling Stones were on.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 02, 2020 9:50 am

So i made a comment elsewhere about something being the worst college band name ever. And it got the wheels turning.

I know what i would have named my band but i am wondering what you all would have named yours. I have some ideas about some of you in terms of names or genre. But i want to see your answers first.

You can feel free to set them in your own era of being in your early 20's, you can set them now. I won't judge.


So, on to me.

I had a lot of friends in college bands and they all had amazing, weird names. Anagram, Reality Twitch, Cartoon Freezetag, World in A Room, DINK, Albino Violet, Altered Vivid, Indian Rope Burn, the fifth wheel, First Light, The Gay Mallards (they were not ducks either), etc.

So I have 2 bands. My heavy metal band is named Death Heifer. We went so far as to do a concert tour shirt with dates including schools for the deaf and Tipper Gore's birthday party. (That shirt has, alas, vanished)

My second band is a cover band that only plays original songs by other college bar bands and is named "No Cover". Would have been hell to book shows at clubs with that name.


My friends, Adam and Joe, went so fs ar as to write a fictional backstory and photograph promo photos of the band and mock up an album cover. Their band was nmed "Social Diseases" and had the sole goal of touring with BNL so the marquee would read "Bare Naked Ladies w/ Social Diseases".


So, what is your lousy college band?
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Sep 04, 2020 5:26 pm

What do you do when the fly lands ON the flyswatter?
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Fri Sep 04, 2020 5:42 pm

Forgot to say this the other day, my band name (after last weeks 7th Sea adventure) is now Butt Parry! Though I could go for Cow Surfing (though I really think Ken should get that one).
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Sep 04, 2020 5:44 pm

I know Sam's Band...

Lon Chaney III :

They are an alt rock band with one song worth of lyrics. But Sam has written 106 different songs to play those lyrics with.


I know Lady Grace's band.

PEART:
it was an all girl Rush cover band that broke up because the drummers never felt worthy to play the music.

I know Ken's band.

Encyclopedia Galactica :
It was a steampunk progressive techno band. During his tenure, Ken wrote them the greatest power ballad ever but the band refused to play it because it lacked pretention.

I know Jeremy's Band.

Marconi & Cheez:
A faux german metal band that covered nothing but Soundtrack hits. Jeremy sng and made a mess out of all of them except (surprisingly) for Berlin's "Take my Breath Away".

I know Mark's band.

Gnomenclature:
A progressive rock/Punk band that played complex instrumentals in 2 minute bursts.

I know Alexandria's band.
Hatbox:
New Wave synthesizers, Jpop vocals covering rennaisance faire staples.

The rest of you i am still puzzling over.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby kenderleech » Fri Sep 04, 2020 5:56 pm

salamanca wrote:
I know Ken's band.

Encyclopedia Galactica :
It was a steampunk progressive techno band. During his tenure, Ken wrote them the greatest power ballad ever but the band refused to play it because it lacked pretention.




So close. it was actually SWARM (with an anarchy sign replacing the A) High school talent show. Punk/industrial/goth/grunge. Somewhere out there there exists a recording of us covering 'Keep on rocking in the free world' "Last Caress" "Low" "Thieves" and "Hand of Doom" as well as whatever the guitarist wrote that was absolutely terrible that I had to mangle lyrics for. I honestly dont remember.

(For those keeping score at home, thats Neil Young, The MIsfits, Cracker, Ministry and Black sabbath. For those not keeping score at home, its like 7-0 and we are all losing.)


Out of the 6 of us, i think the drummer and I are the only ones Not currently being hosted by the new york state department of corrections.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Sep 04, 2020 6:33 pm

I just pictured you getting recruited with the line, "and you get to wear goggles and THIS hat."
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby kenderleech » Fri Sep 04, 2020 6:40 pm

There Was actually a hat. I had to bring my own goggles tho. as well as my own eyeliner, lipstick, nail paint, grey flannel shirt and also, as i was the only one with a job, Pizza.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Sat Sep 05, 2020 9:43 am

How about this, not to ponder on:

Why are some things catchy, like if you see someone yawn, you yawn, but if you see them doing Jumping Jacks, you don't start doing Jumping Jacks.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sat Sep 05, 2020 11:27 am

Because Jumping Jacks are just a bad idea for everybody. Nobody should be doing them.

They cause involuntary reflex eyerolls and laughs.

So there is an effect, just not an identical one.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 06, 2020 2:05 pm

Since there have been no fun or games since March... who lost the eye?

(You all know the parental warning of which i speak)
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby daundelyon » Sun Sep 06, 2020 3:10 pm

salamanca wrote:
I know Alexandria's band.
Hatbox:
New Wave synthesizers, Jpop vocals covering rennaisance faire staples.


*shudders* Nope. Bardcore and historical heavy metal, with a capella interludes of Renaissance faire standards.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 15, 2020 9:24 am

Why have none of the morning shows or celebrity talk shows done a cooking segment/ kitchen knife skills segment with the guy that played Jason Voorhees?

It's not like Kane Hodder is unavailable.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 15, 2020 9:32 am

Did William Shatner ever put on a set of coveralls and powder his face for halloween and show up as "Michael Myers"?
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Tue Sep 15, 2020 11:56 am

salamanca wrote:Why have none of the morning shows or celebrity talk shows done a cooking segment/ kitchen knife skills segment with the guy that played Jason Voorhees?

It's not like Kane Hodder is unavailable.


Savagely hacking away on bodies isn't good knife care!

Now, if Lecter knows how to properly bone & filet his meat...
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Sep 18, 2020 6:55 am

So Chris Evans accidentally posted a picture he should not have made public. Then he owned it and used it to promote voting.

All that is fine, mistakes happen. But having not seen any of it directly or the response, i have one question...


Did Paul Rudd comment on it? Because those are America's bits.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 20, 2020 9:48 am

The hurricane that went through Louisiana at the end of August has caused some ridiculous surge in the mosquito population in the region.

Animals are literally dying from blood loss caused by excessive feeding by the mosquitos. Not just small animals. Deer, cows, and other livestock are dropping dead from exhaustion triggered by massive blood loss.

So, now I am wondering...just how many mosquito bites does it take to drain a cow of all it's blood?
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun Sep 20, 2020 6:15 pm

Curse you Dave! Your stupid question got stuck in my head and now I have to answer it. GRRR
Ok before I begin I am making several assumptions to come up with this number and I have no guarantee I am correct in these assumptions BUT it gives us a place to start. So first the facts (along with my assumptions).

Fact 1) How much blood does a cow have in its body? A quick Google search shows us that the average is 52-57 ml/kg. So the average average is 54.5. Ok good start, but that's only half the equation.

Fact 2) How much does the average cow weigh? Well that depends on whether we're talking about a male (2400 lbs) or a female (1600 lbs). But since we're talking average, I'm betting we mean female. Unfortunately we've hit a problem as we have both metric and imperial here. so lets change it to metric so our average female cow weighs 725.7478 kg.
Working that out, our average cow has 39,553.2551 ml of blood (or 39.5532551 liters)
Now we have our first BIG assumption.

Fact 3) How much blood lose can a cow have before it dies? only gives me stuff about humans. But several of them point to 50% of your blood being the death zone. So I am going to assume half for cows too. That means our average cow can lose 19,776.62755 ml (or 19.77662755 liters) before death.
and that brings us to our little bloodsuckers.

Fact 4) How much blood does the average mosquito drink per meal? Well the males don't but I am not going to factor that into our calculations. So, the average female drinks about 5 microliters per meal. Calculating this will give us the number of meals needed to drain half the blood of our hypothetical cow. First we turn the milliliters into microliters (spoiler alert just move the decimal point over 3 places. So 19776627.55) Then we divide that by 5 (the amount of the average meal) and we come up with 3,955,325.51. I'll round up so we have a whole number 3,955,326. So there you have it. Just shy of 4 million mosquitos (unless some of them go back for seconds).

EDIT: Read a little blurb (https://www.businessinsider.com/how-man ... ard%20seed.) answering how many mosquitos it would take to kill a human, and theres a lot more to it. Feel free to read (except Alexandra who already knows all of this).
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Mon Sep 21, 2020 9:25 am

And just for the record, your math is all correct.

Because, i too felt a need to look it all up.

Now, if you really want to be miserable, factor in that for a human, they only need to drink just under 3 liters. Then factor in how many bites...

Then look up how many square inches of skin are on the human body...

Divide that out so you know how many bites would be on each inch of your body...

And now, think about the itching.

You can all hate me now.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Mon Sep 21, 2020 11:01 am

"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

And here's where I try to be a writer...
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