Chronicles of the Self Isolated

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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun May 17, 2020 1:44 pm

I've been telling everyone I can think of, the thing you should be watching is Avenue 5 on HBO. Freaking hysterical and such a meta-critique of our current clusterf**k of an administration. The cast is stellar, Hugh Laurie, Josh Gad, Suzie Nakamura, and Ethan Philips to just name the folks you might know.

Heck there are even meta-jokes about the cast themselves (Hugh Laurie in particular).
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Tue May 19, 2020 7:32 am

Most.of.you probably saw the Renn Faire comparison to Covid about 10,000 attendees and maybe 10 ate dressed as fairies. But at the end of the day, look at how many have glitter on them.

Let me fact check that.

10,000 people at the same renn faire on one day? That is a stretch.
ONLY 10 dressed as fairies? Never happen. In a sample a tenth that size, you will find 10 GUYS dressed as fairies and at least 100 girls sporting wings.

As for the glitter, trick question most of those attending in a costume haven't washed it since theor last trip and that is left over glitter.

The world will not be safe until we ban glitter.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Wed May 20, 2020 9:10 am

Ohio is now moving from a "stat at home ORDER" to a "stay at home RECOMMENDATION"

We all know that will get ignored like a 35 MPH speed limit on a country road.

We were doing so good...

For those not aware, a virus is not technically a living organism so welcome to the Zombie Apocalypse.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Lady Grace » Wed May 20, 2020 9:40 am

[expletiveexpletiveexpletive]
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby daundelyon » Wed May 20, 2020 12:13 pm

I just found out I will be working from home until at least September. I haven't quite figured out how I feel about that yet. Given current shenanigans I suspect I will be busy.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Wed May 20, 2020 3:29 pm

Our own governor is now starting to unveil the rolling out of return to normalcy (Ha! HAH!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh phew, boy that's a knee-slapper.) As such we're starting to open the fields to activities. Supposed to be no more than 10 folks on the field and the only people who you can have any contact with are those in your own household. I am just waiting to see how well that works out :?

And as a double whammy since I'm on the Recreation Commission (responsible for said fields) I am worried about not shouting WHAT THE ABSOLUTE F**K ARE YOU THINKING?!?! loudly and more frequently, but I guess other folks gotta be accountable for their own actions. I, on the other hand, will NOT be taking the kids out there.
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Wed May 20, 2020 5:39 pm

If you can work from home, keep doing that. Save the gas and lunch money, get yourself something nice.

Mark, you can expect people ignoring the spacing and number restriction. Some because they are just not paying attention (a fair reason) some because they don't care about the rules (not a fair reason) and many because it is open and I am going to use it and too damn bad others are here. (The worst reason)

Keep in mind that Walmart is restricting to 5 customers per 1,000 square feet and nobody feels that is excessive. (That is a 32x32 foot area) by that theory, i can cram 10,000 people on my golf course at once (which would be a very bad thing)

And you don't have to scream that at anyone. You know the answer and they don't care about the answer.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Wed May 20, 2020 8:08 pm

So Ohio is insisting employees have temperatures taken daily. Since i am rarely sick and in tune enough to know if i am running a fever (because, let's face it, that is kind of obvious) i have never owned a thermometer until now.

First off, you can't get a surface read one because everybody suddenly needs them. But with a little diligence and luck, you can find a digital one in stock.

First thing on the instructions is using the "mode" button to select where you will be taking that temperature. 1= mouth 2= armpit 3=a very old fashioned method.

Maybe it's just me, but if this thing is being used in mode 3, i never want it switching back to mode 1. That should be a failsafe, locked in one-way option.

And i am not really happy with shifting back from mode 2 for that matter either.

Really just glad i never have to share it. #living alone rules.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sat May 23, 2020 11:45 am

Before you get all comfy and come out of your holes, remember this...

2020 is also a 17 year locust season.

Wear your mask ans keep a swatter handy.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby daundelyon » Sat May 23, 2020 9:27 pm

While I was in nursing school, I filled in as secretary at my dad's office (the regular lady had gone out on medical leave). One day, a young lady came in, wearing rather immoderate heels and carrying what appeared to be a toy broom. Turned out she needed to meet someone in the building across the street, so I offered to walk her there. As soon as we stepped outside and heard the cicadas, she commenced flailing about with the broom.
Two mysteries remain; how she didn't break an ankle, and how I managed to keep it together until I was out of range.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sun May 24, 2020 7:41 am

Well, i found an alternative idea for a summer gathering... Pensacola Florida has a minor league baseball team that has listed their stadium on Air B&B during the shutdown. Only 1500 a night and you can bring 10 people (probably for gathering size limits.) Just in time for that Bottom of the 9th LARP i never wanted to run.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Lady Grace » Sun May 24, 2020 9:24 am

*wonders how a baseball-themed MegaParanoia would play out*
"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun May 24, 2020 10:56 am

It Came From the Late Late Show Idea
With COVID-19 running rampant, and people going stir crazy, MLB decides desperate times call for desperate measures. They need a baseball game. But they can't afford to risk their most important asset (the real players) and using minor leaguers could endanger future revenue streams. So they do the only thing they have left at their disposal. They hire actors. But not just any actors (since many of them are well known AND expensive). What they need are actors ready and hungry to act PLUS so anonymous they'll never be recognized for what they are. In short, they hire dinner theater actors...
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Lady Grace » Sun May 24, 2020 12:19 pm

As a member of a dinner theatre troupe, allow me to ask questions on their behalf

"Do we get paid?"
"Do we get tips?"
"Will we be fed?"
"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun May 24, 2020 1:44 pm

I had you and Mike in mind when I thought of it, LG! Let me answer your unasked questions first.

Yes, LG you and Mike will be two of the characters. No you cannot play yourself. That's because you'll be playing Mike (and vice versa). When parts are given out, your character will get the part you were born to play. And Mike's character will get the part he was born to play.

In short, you must play Mike pretending to be you, and Mike must play you pretending to be Mike...

And as for your other questions, the people hiring you (Lawyers in the employ of MLB) would answer "Yes" to all three (and all that answer entails). :twisted:
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sun May 24, 2020 6:15 pm

MegaParanoia baseball...

The Ball is color clearance levelled. Contact with an upper ranked ball is prohibited. (This includes with a winged mouse.

R&D has designed new juiced balls so somthing will explode.

The hot dog cannon...well, lets just say the back row will not go hungry.

All games are under the lights. On artificial turf...sierra club still wants to steal it.

If you outrank the umpire, you can change the call

WHO is on first. Doct-R-WHO to be exact.
WAT is on second. James-B-Wat.
Eyed-O-KNO third base!
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Tue May 26, 2020 6:09 pm

So, were all in this together...except this one guy.

A customer just told me he met up with another guy he golfs with for dinner on the first day restaurants reopened in the state.

Supporting a business that has been shuttered for over two months...good deed.

The seecond guy asks for one check for the table...so ue can use his BOGO coupon from an entertainment coupon book he mooched off a different friend. (That is correct, he even borrowed the coupon)

Demanding a free meal out of a business on the day of it's reopen...very bad deed.

But we are not done yet.

When he collected from his buddy, he neglected to tell him about the coupon, so his pal paid his full share and left a tip on the table. Not splitting the discount with the guy YOU invited...terrible deed.

Tipping the waitress 10% (because he obviously isn't going to tip a fair amount) of his $2 beverage after she has been off work 2 months...deplorable.

I do not see any more lunch dates with golf buddies in his future.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sat May 30, 2020 9:42 am

So, this morning i am doing my monthly roubd of calls to pay the utilities and what not...and covid runs me aground.

Literally every utility i tried to pay tossed me to an automated message informing me that they would not seek collection until July. I know this is great for those who have been out of work and are in a pinch but I can afford to stay current and would like to do so. (Additionally, each of these disclaimers add about a minute of time spent listening to an automated message i don't need to hear)

Why will they not take my money? One utility literally did not give me the option to pay at all. I had to call back and run a gamut of automated systems to get to a live person who was still resistant to processing my bill.

I am going to be a whole lot less tolerant later this year when these utlities start begging for funding and /or bankruptcy. I have literally tried to pay you on time and you said no.

As an aside, the local electric company is named "The illuminating company" i started paying by phone instead of writing a check because i realized at some point the check was reading "pay to the order of The Illuminati" and that is probably way closer to the truth than i like.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sun May 31, 2020 8:19 am

So i laundered facemasks again yesterday. Probably the 4th washing for sone of them. And a new problem arose...

The nylon paracord i have been using for string to wear them...well that nylon cording shrank.

Not a little, a lot. A 36" piece is now 30". I gelt like a fat kid trying to fit into old jeans. (Ah, memories of youth)
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sat Jun 06, 2020 11:46 am

So, Ohio is allowing barbers and what not to operate again but they are requiring apppinyments and my guy is booked heavily. (On top of that, my schedule is only open in the event of heavy all day rain right now so i can't plan ahead)

Add to this that i was very due for a haircut when this shut down started and actually had an appointment for the day AFTER they got closed down for the virus.

Short version, my hair is in a very long and unruly stage between nice hair cut and nice long locks that i can tie back. It is early 70's newscaster long.

Then i looked in a mirror today after reading some old comics...

My hair looks like everybody drawn by comic artist Gil Kane in 1971. It sticks out in the back, the ends flip up in a curl, it is bushy. I would post a pic bit you all can look up Gil's work and see the exact same thing.

It needs to grow out much faster. Thank goodness i had the sides and back much shorter recently so i will be avoiding the 80's pop singer mullet phase.

Hide your mirrors folks, the quarantine is getting ugly.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sat Jun 06, 2020 12:31 pm

I have already had two haircuts since this all started (not that big an accomplishment when you realize I only have two hairs and I cut them both once each). Seriously though, big advantage to being bald now. If I want a haircut I just get the clippers out, put the distance guard on the setting I want and run it over my head. Voila!
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby Lady Grace » Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:22 pm

Finally got my hair cut this past week. My shop is obeying the rules.
"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sat Jun 06, 2020 3:27 pm

I am really hoping Grace did not opt for Mark's haircut.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby CaitlinCallahan » Sun Jun 07, 2020 12:58 am

Salons here opened up this week, but I couldn't get in for a haircut till next Friday. If I'm being completely honest, I'm torn between letting it continue to grow out (with just a trim to keep it healthy), and going short. I've pretty much decided that I won't decide until I get to the appointment. :D
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Re: Chronicles of the Self Isolated

Postby salamanca » Sun Jun 07, 2020 7:41 am

Short like your normal short or short like pixie cut?

Doesn't matter, i say conform and go long.
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