Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sat Dec 05, 2020 10:10 am

Is it possible to order a box for a playstation 5 with no game system? I have a vision of holiday prankinhs for some over entitled people.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sun Dec 13, 2020 4:07 pm

So, my parents have this family that lives across the road and are full time online shoppers. Amazon literally stops 2-3 times a day.

Today, Fed Ex pulled in and Dad asked, "I wonder if they are delivering the vaccine? They buy everything else."
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Thu Feb 11, 2021 11:23 am

Skippy peanut butter is acquiring Mr. Peanut for several million dollars...

Why am i picturing a sudden mob stype death for Mr. Peanut and a surge in chunky peanut butter supply?

If i find a monocle in the jar, i am switching to Jif.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Thu Feb 11, 2021 11:43 am

Jif is better taste & texture-wise anyways.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Thu Feb 11, 2021 8:01 pm

That is "choosy mom" talk.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Feb 12, 2021 4:12 pm

How does your furnace always know that it is 2 am when it decides to quit? Do they have a hidden clock in the fuel pump?

Repair guy left 2 hours ago...still running trying to get back the 27 degrees lost while shut down.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Thu Apr 08, 2021 5:32 pm

I just wattched a brief interview about mural art in Salem, Massachusetts.

The guy being interviewed went out of his way to point out that Salem has always been a city renowned for being welcoming to people from different places and with differing beliefs.

Sure, except for being most famous for witch trials killing women because kids claimed they were evil.

But aside from that, very welcoming.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Thu Apr 08, 2021 6:34 pm

It's only "welcoming" now 'cause it's a damn tourist trap.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Apr 09, 2021 10:45 am

Well, that and nobody actually being a witch.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Fri Apr 09, 2021 3:14 pm

Quite popular with the fluffy bunny McWiccan wannabes though.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Fri Apr 23, 2021 9:00 pm

Thinking about Skyrim...the video game.

If you had the expansions, you had the option of adopting a couple orphans.

If you played an Elf, your character is going to watch those orphans grow up, grow old, wither and die.

Because nobody gets to be happy in the Elder Scrolls games.


(And thanks to a lack of dialogue, you are going to spend those 80 years with those kids asking "did you bring me a present?" Everytime you walk in the door.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Fri Apr 23, 2021 10:02 pm

Could be worse...they could end up as an entree for that one cannibal cult.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sat Apr 24, 2021 2:27 pm

I would actually endorse that over being frisked for gifts every time I arrive home.

Ah, Skyrim... where the hero can become a cannibal werewolf vampire assassin burgler. (Who is expected to murder at least 3 loyal allies an old woman and a village idiot.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Sat Apr 24, 2021 7:24 pm

In my headcanon, Lydia is the real hero of Skyrim.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sun Apr 25, 2021 11:00 am

I think you may be right but there are strong cases for:

Havdar (rescue a prisoner slated to die, recryut him into service, set him on the path of dragon killing while quietly going about ending the civil war like a loyal soldier.)

Ma'iq (Ma'iq has done nothing except wander)

Any of the followers that join you after a fist fight (they are only in it because you throw a mean right hook)

Braith (If you could hand Braith her grandfather's sword, you would not need to be in the game at all)

But Lydia is very protective of your character. She will always block the door.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Mon Apr 26, 2021 10:14 am

Lurbuk is not the worst bard in Skyrim. I foolishly requested a song at the tavern in Dawnstar last night.

I cannot tell is the voice actress is that bad of a singer or intentionally being a bad singer because all her dialogue sounds like a weak line reading.


But all of Skyrims bards are pretty shifty. The alleged best singer only plays instrumentals. Sven and Mikael are sleezeballs. Most of the College staff are useless. And Jan Battleborn spends all day leaning against a post staring at a lady that is NOT his girlfriend...creeeeepy.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Mon Apr 26, 2021 4:14 pm

The Bard's College quests were a lost opportunity, though I don't know if Bethseda's had more stuff planned and had to drop it or not.
"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Mon Apr 26, 2021 5:23 pm

Totally lost faction. It could have been a ton more.

Compiling book series side quests. Official duties to various jarls. Documenting events around your other quests. Tracking down that wandering bard for his dues. Interviewing various characters for histoic information. (Old lady Maiden Loom must have known somebody important back in the day)

Nope all we get is "go find my very mundane flute".
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Wed Apr 28, 2021 12:37 pm

Last night, i had to make an 8:30 run for dinner because late customers are also slow customers.

I am not even a mile up the road and i gotta hit the brakes because there is a Peacock standing in the middle of the road.

Just wandering around on the loose at sunset. Right outside the skeevy campground with highly suspicious and morally questionable year round residents living in campers.

No idea if it belongs somewhere or is just wild but they are not really indigenous to the area. This being a Blue version, it could just be avoiding India.

My current leading theories are:

1-New owners of the skeevy campgrpund have some interesting ideas on how to start upscaling the place.

2- one of those residents watched too much of the Joe Exotic thing last year and decided to raise exotic birds in his camper.

3-Climate change...just because that always gets used as an excuse.

At least the bird is prettier than the residents.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Thu Apr 29, 2021 6:08 pm

Kit Kat has unleashed a limited edition Key Lime flavor.

Why is this limited and is it limited like the Pumpkin Spice version 2018 that we never, ever saw again?
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Mon May 03, 2021 8:58 am

Does Andrea Bocelli sing along to "Freebird" in the car?
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Mon May 03, 2021 12:39 pm

Another Skyrim thought:

You start to join the Thieves Guild and good old Brynjolf sends you out on a collection racket. Shake down some local shop keepers who owe them protection money. It leads to a couple script and plot problems.

1- Despite paying up, there is a good chance you het sent later to rob these folks at least once. Protection rackets NEVER WORK if you rob them anyhow.

2- As the "chosen one" in a video game, this is like asking Batman to go hunt down jaywalkers.

3- Brynjolf keeps insisting they owe the Guild "significant amounts of money". Sure, the guild has fallen on hard times but 100 septims? I throw more than that at the adopted kids as allowance. A crappy steel helmet costs more than that.

Skyrim thieves guild...home of lots of talk and zero talent.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Tue May 04, 2021 4:15 pm

Why does Hawaii have interstate highways? Where do they connect to?

And how is Rhode Island an island?
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby Lady Grace » Tue May 04, 2021 8:28 pm

"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

And here's where I try to be a writer...
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Re: Things Nobody Should Be Pondering

Postby salamanca » Sat May 22, 2021 12:35 pm

The AARP magazine showed up at work. Among the articles is one on Video Gaming and why Senior Citizens should be getting into online gaming.


Now I have images of senile, doddering WW2 vets blowing through Call of Duty. Perky little red hat ladies trying to figure out how to equip a rocket launcher in Fortnite. And my dad in a rage because the controls don't work the way he thinks they should and he just got killed...again.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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