A slightly different 31 day character challenge

[salamanca]

Never? Oh, that's right, you are the last one to leave the table at 5:21pm while the rest of them are in the hall.

You realize in one of those realities his arch enemy is probably Pellet.

[salamanca]

Shen Gon Wu

Shen was the product of my 90's obsession with the films of John Woo.

Shen was built to be the epitome of every character ever portrayed by Chow Yun Fat so he knew how to use guns AND he knew how to use guns. Shen was Gun fu to the exclusion of all else. He was templated as a "killer" but wasn't married to the concept of assassin for hire and was played as more of a guy who just ended up in situations that he solved by shooting stuff.

Unfortunately for Shen and his modern semi automatic skillset, our GM had never watched an actual Hong Kong film outside of Big Trouble in Little China and really wanted to just run another Deadlands game so in session one we got whisked through a portal to the 1800's and never got to come back. We were stuck in a Chinese Deadlands game. And suddenly, I was conserving ammo because there wasn't going to be any more coming. I had to make due with single action revolvers which hosed a ton of knacks and talents.

So, what did we do? We fought the evil machinations of Lo Pan (did I not mention somebody watched Big Trouble?) It was not too memorable. The Karate Cop in the group started a thing during the game...he or I would make a very modern reference to the locals. It might be telling someone they sound like a broken record or compare them to a modern celebrity who was not even close to being born in the timeline. When the NPC voiced confusion, whichever one of us had not made the reference would reply, "wait for it..." I don't know why that amused us so much.

Shen was a man of simple needs. All he wanted was a nice clean suit, a casino/nightclub to wear it in, and enough loaded guns to shoot everyone. This game got him 1 out of 3. (And that casino was a saloon) But Shen was a trooper. He took on the tasks before him in hopes of getting home. We never got around to that either. But we saved the locals, foiled some evil plots, destroyed a lot of monsters and well, i shouldn't say we. The others did the heavy lifting. Shen had limits because you can only shoot six shooter so fast. (And only 6 times)

why the GM loved him
Shen was every hero in every movie this GM would love if he had ever watched any of those movies. He was just not background prepared to run this setting.

why the GM hated him

Shen didn't do much out of a need to preserve resources. He was a gun guy in a setting where guns were not available. It took 3 sessions to get my hands on a period weapon and even have a chance to get ammo for it. I was really just wasting space and time at the table.


All of this could have been solved by simply saying "i am totally planning on time jumping this group" or "I'm setting the game in the 1800's" Neither statement would have spoiled anything but a couple of us would have made different choices that would have helped everything.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Never? Oh, that's right, you are the last one to leave the table at 5:21pm while the rest of them are in the hall.

*sniffle* nope doesn't hurt my feelings at all

All of this could have been solved by simply saying "i am totally planning on time jumping this group" or "I'm setting the game in the 1800's" Neither statement would have spoiled anything but a couple of us would have made different choices that would have helped everything.

'Course had he said that, you would have made Kwai Chang Caine (at least I know I would have, though I would have made the version that Bruce Lee originally pitched who actually knew awesome kung fu!)

Feng Shui is one of those games I have always wanted to play but just have never had the chance. (have all the books from 1st and 2nd ed., read most of them, even ran a session for the players once, but never played )

[salamanca]

If i had known, i would have cornered the others into the 7 samurai. (That's a lie, i would have pushed them into future tech characters so they were completely useless. We all know me that well by now)

[Black Jack Rackham]

ahem...

The Seven Samurai as a post apocalyptic anime

[Black Jack Rackham]

“Jessup P. MacGillacutty”
Different semi-local gamer, different playtest, very different game.

This time, it’s a conspiracy-theory type game where we’re unofficial investigators looking into various “strange phenomena.” Cool enough. And the GM has already made up characters so I only have to choose one. Great. I’ll be nice and let everyone else pick first. Only one problem. There’s only one player who knows me real well, and he’s late arriving so he can’t warn them. They don’t know the kind of character I should never be given. So, what do they leave me with you ask? Why the character who believes it all. ALL OF IT!

Now this character has a regular name. Robert Jones or some useless, mundane name like that. We get to introductions and I interrupt the GM to introduce myself as Jessup P. MacGillacutty, you can call me “J.” GM, obviously misunderstanding what’s going on tries to tell me that my character is really named…I cut him off again, and reiterate “Jessup P. MacGillacutty” (I articulate all of that) like I’d tell any of you my real name. Any one of you could be spies for “The Greys” (I whisper that last part, and I eye each of people at the table, including the GM, suspiciously). Jessup spent a number of years eliminating any trace of his existence. Toughest part was getting rid of his family… Now the GM gets it, but the other players just think Jessup is going to be comedy relief. They don’t know Jessup is quite certain they’re all in on it. And he will kill every last one of them to keep his secrets safe. Nothing and no one is more important than the mission. He’s had to make that choice before, this just makes what he has to do that much easier.

The plot is simple. Woman in Kansas keeps getting forcibly impregnated by aliens (OH MY GOD I blurt out, it IS the GREYS! before I clamp my hands over my mouth, scared they might have heard me) they keep making her have alien babies. Now the organization we’re a part of have plane tickets for us to get to Kansas. Jessup starts laughing derisively. Really, you gonna put your dumb asses on a plane with all them chemtrail-generating devices they have on planes? What, you think just because you’re inside, they’re not going to expose you to the breathable nano-implants that track your movements, thoughts, and breakfast cereal choices? One of the players chuckles about the breakfast cereal comment and in response Jessup drags up a wad of papers he just happened to have and waggles it in the other player’s face. You gonna argue with the results of THIS study? He growls. Jones, Jennings and Nelson 1982. One of the other players points out that those are the names of three old-time country music singers, to which Jessup responds, You can’t really be this naïve, can you?

So the GM wants to know, since Jessup won’t fly, how is he going to get there? Command Center, Jessup responds smugly as though that explains everything. His command center is a 1968 Winnebago F-17 (Google it, it's exactly the mobile home you're imagining), built before computers ran every part of our transportation industry, this sleek beauty is completely off the grid, no computer parts telling the government (or JFK’s shadow government of course) what Jessup is up to. Of course he’s modified it heavily so it runs on corn starch and cooking oil (which he steals from roadside diners in the middle of the night). Inside, of course, is where the real magic happens. There he has his extensive grow operation (various non-gmo grains and several hundred pounds of marijuana) his short-wave radio (it’s the lowest high-tech communication system the greys haven’t yet deciphered, duh) from which he does his weekly radio show, and the mimeograph where he makes copies of the various conspiracy pamphlets he self-publishes.

Jessup also mentions taking his guns. Which ones? the GM inquires. All. of. them. (that’s always the answer) Handguns aren’t going to be a problem of course, and even the shotguns and 30.06 should be fine. But the rocket launcher? Does Jessup really expect to get this military-grade ordinance across state lines? That, of course, starts a long diatribe about his abilities subsequent to replicating the results of the MK-Ultra program on himself and how his drug-mule-ing hundreds of pounds of marijuana back and forth across America has taught him a thing or two about dodging police checkpoints. The GM has already given up when Jessup starts into the “Well-known” research about the super-attenuated (yes I know it’s the wrong word here, but I’m on a roll, just let me have this) abilities of drug sniffing dogs subsequent to their having been given certain illicit (and grey-created) injections. HOWEVER, less well-known is the fact that these abilities only worked at peak efficiency when combined with a certain strain of gene-spliced wheat. AND, given the fact that all his crops are non-gmo, hiding the rocket launcher in the bench underneath the table (where he stores the wheat) is obviously the logical choice.

Foolishly, the GM then points out that it’s like a fifteen hour drive, and again Jessup laughs; the bitter, cold laugh of a man dealing the wildly innocent musings of infants. At this very moment, Jessup has over 10,000 tablets of methamphetamine (He trades with local bikers for the stuff. It's better than cash in the circles he runs in), as far as he’s concerned a 15 hour drive is just a trip to the grocery store.

(At this point I should mention the one player who knows me finally arrived and fortunately for me, he gets the “Jessup’s Best Friend” character (as though Jessup has any real friends). He decides the way to play his character is to talk up Jessup’s supposed capabilities. So after I spout my torrential river of BS, Antonio says, “Oh yea, I’ve heard all about that.”)

So finally we’re at the farm, Jessup drives directly into their front yard, parking the Command Center between the 4-5 other abandoned cars and begins pulling out vehicle camouflage he has expertly (and thickly) spray-painted various shades of red. Before the GM can ask, I helpfully point out that Jessup discovered, quite by accident, back in ’74 (or was it ‘75) that the Greys were unable to see the color red (that very useful little tidbit, by the way, cost him his right testicle*). Hiding the Command Center under this would render it virtually invisible.

We start our interviews with the various "witnesses" and the "victim" and Jessup begins taping (on betamax, of course, the one platform the Grey’s were never able to master, that’s why they had Bill Gates kill it. You know, before one of the Greys assumed his form and they sent him back to their home planet.). From here on out Jessup tapes everything, placing various betamax cameras around the property and especially in the corn field (because we all KNOW that’s where this is going down, don’t we?) After that, he begins his weekly broadcast (despite it being Thursday), because he knows it will make it as far as the friends he has who own certain military grade missile silos/defense bunkers in South Dakota.

After the first round of interviews, the missus offers to make everyone dinner, steak of course, and Jessup nearly loses his mind! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY PUT INTO THE COW FEED?!?!? They’ll copy your DNA and make an exact duplicate of you in under 24 hours, and then they’ll erase you! Or worse…probing… You want to know how much that hurts? DO YOU? Jessup is still missing the lower third of his left lung from the LAST time they gave him a probing. The others are undeterred, so Jessup stands outside the dining room window hate-eating raw quinoa and shaming them for playing RIGHT INTO the Greys’ plans. Unfortunately, while doing this, his stomach (which has not had steak in almost 40 years) begins grumbling loud enough to be heard in the ionosphere, rendering his shaming mute (I KNOW WHAT I SAID, IT STILL MAKES SENSE!)

That night it all comes to fruition. The Greys come back to re-impregnate her, the group runs around trying to get evidence, and then it happens. One of Jessup’s betamax cameras out in the cornfield (SEE I TOLD YOU!) which was set to start recording when a nearby rope is tripped over, accidentally gets nearly 30 seconds of a Grey on tape as it eviscerates two of his companions. Then Jessup uses the rocket launcher on that alien SOB and somehow the camera survives (the terribly injured, but not yet dead, companions aren't so lucky). Unfortunately the huge explosion alerts other Greys who make a b-line for their position. Knowing the importance of that betamax, Jessup grabs it and runs. The few surviving others try to follow, but the mission is too important. He gets in the Command Center and takes off, leaving them behind. As far as he’s concerned he has to get to South Dakota tonight with that tape. Fortunately he has plenty of methamphetamine, corn starch, and cooking oil. While driving away, Jessup watches as the UFOs obliterate all the remaining vehicles on the farm. So he gives the ships the finger (which they can’t see because the Command Center is still hidden under it’s red camouflage) and shouts back to his soon-to-be-former companions that he will tell everyone they died heroic deaths and he will never forget them! (told you he had no qualms about killing them, or leaving them to die.)

Why the GM should have loved this character – I cannot imagine a character more fitted to play this game than “Jessup P. MacGillacutty.” In fact despite the fact that he left everyone behind, the GM ruled that I had inadvertently set up a sequel where Jessup learns they are still alive and goes to rescue them (HA! like he’d ever risk that kind of exposure)

Why the GM should have hated this character – Jessup is nuts. Straight up kooky-dooks! Sure, he was right about the greys (as far as we could tell with this little adventure) but he’s got a ton of other bizarre beliefs. Beliefs which have given him (what he has rationalized into) the moral justification to kill anyone who gets in his way or falls during the mission. Assuming this particular mission was successful, next time he’ll be even more likely to use that same solution. I would never want to play with such a character beyond a one-shot (of course, watching someone play this character well would be a treat).

*Of course Jessup offered to show them as proof, duh!

(EDIT: I know this game sounds exactly like a plot from CoC: Delta Green, I actually pointed that out during the playtest, but the GM/writer assured me they were vastly different games. Honestly I think Delta Green played better mechanically, but ours not to reason why).

[Lady Grace]

I had the WORST dice luck in Feng Shui.

[Black Jack Rackham]

I had the WORST dice luck in Feng Shui.

Try moving your couch across to the other side of the room.

[salamanca]

My hate of this system is well known. I even owned a HAT OF d02, a fine gift at the time. But GMs pick the game.

We are playing an all evil characters pirate campaign... with me. And Jeremy, and Bravada's plot killing husband, and a trio of hardcore min maxers. And others... so many others.

Alejandro Hoosun

Alejandro was a swarthy human with some sailing skills, some navigation, a swrod and no desire to be in charge because that just puts a target on you. He was happy to guard the rear and go off on 2 man scouting missions. He was lawful evil so he was fine following orders to do terrible things. So long as there was a plan, all was good.

So about the group. It was late in 3rd ed. So every book and supplement was fair game. We had mind flayers in the party. We had neccromancers and vampires. And the GM had bug plans so we were starting out at 5th or 6th level. And we had players willing to work under a truce. It might have worked except for Alejandro being there.

I found a new character class in the last official supplement. It allowed the player to fake being a different class everyday. So I could declare Fighter, Thief, Mage, or Cleric and got a few powers to fake it for 24 hours. In a close to the vest, reveal nothing campaign of evil, nobody knew for sure what class I was. We also got an allowance for these characters to spend on magic items so players had some +X weapons and wands and what not. I spent everything on a single item that we will get to in a minute.

Actually, it doesn't matter. Alejandro was sent out to scout something with another rogue and was killed in his first encounter. I was left as a spirit voice to haunt that poor survivor as a guilty reminder of how he failed his partner. I haunted him until he died in the next session. After that, I haunted another character that had survived the rogue's death. I kept passing from survivor to survivor with my very useful but cursed magic item.

Then, one of the Vampires started murdering allies to feed and hiding the bodies. The group turned on her but by then, most of the group had been killed. And still, the curse continued. We started with about 11 players and ended with 3 or 4. Just like every campaign. But it could have worked if not for Alejandro and his so useful cursed magic item.

That item was a Portable Hole. How was it cursed? It belonged to Alejandro. Why was I haunting them? I wasn't. I wasn't even dead.

Alejandro was a doppleganger. I let that rogue trip a trap and finished him off, hiding the body in the hole. Then I returned to the party posing as him. "The haunting" was how I got to keep running my own character by proxy. Then the two of us would set some other victim up. And nobody tipped off the party. Everybody who died was my victim. Some got dropped into the hole alive to starve. Even the vampire was a set up where we drained the other victims to frame her. All the while, we were using that weird character class to fake the players we replaced. I say we because it never would have worked if the others had not played along.

why the GM should have loved him

This GM always prided himself on times he doublecrossed the players in his groups and taking advantage of others in the group. Alejandro was the evil, double dealing epitome of Steve's gaming styles. (Steve gamed under the phrase, "If you are not cheating, you're not trying.")

why the GM hated him
Alejandro started killing players 20 minutes into session 1 and didn't warn the GM it was coming. And, as expected, it prematurely ended the campaign.

This was by far one of the most entertaining characters I never directly played.

[salamanca]

C4PG

So, I joined this campaign in progress. Same GM as the last post but years before that. It was set in the time just before the original trilogy. By the time I joined the movie canon was out the window. This crew of rebels had already met Admiral Ackbar, had a disagreement and jettisoned him into deep space. They had also converted their ship engines to run on meat (i have no idea why).

So, C4PG was a Protocol Droid, not too different from C3PO just with no gold plating or fussy demeanor. The group needed a translator so all was good... until C4 started saying "No, we are doing this my way".

They installed a restraining bolt to make C4 obey... it popped back off. They put on another one, it popped off too. Then he took one of theirnblasters from their holster (from across the room, possibly using some sort of magnets built into him) At one point, C4 shot a hole in the hull and plugged it with his finger until they consented. There was a new sheriff in town and he was a droid.

Sort of.

C4PG was a droid but he was also housing the force ghost of a Sith Lord. A Sith Lord that was growing stronger by the day. (As I poured earned XP into force powers) The jedi in the group missed the signs because he never looked and ignored those all too handy force sense abilities to do cool lightsaber tricks.

Unlike Alejandro, C4 never tried to hurt his team they were his implements for revenge against the person who killed him. He wanted them to go kill this person as soon as possible. An upstart named Skywalker operating under an assumed name of Vader.

We never caught up with that punk. He kept skipping across the galaxy a step ahead of us.

why the GM should have loved him

C4PG was the typical blend of hero but sneaky that Steve loved in a character. (I could do another list of Steve's characters that would baffle you) When he heard my idea, eyes lit up and a couple character creation rules got bent.

why the GM should have hated him
C4PG and his ghost (who we never named) was a little bullheaded about playing with others. He bullied his plan ahead of the team. Mind you they had really bad plans but still deserved to explore them.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Wilhelmina
Probably my first cross gendered character. Sure I play as women when I am GMing all the time but not a single character I’ve mentioned thus far (yes even Areiele) were women. Wilhelmina is a Half-Elf who started off as a Bard then went Bard/Rogue because our party didn’t have a trap finder, and when we switched over to 2nd Ed, there was even less need so I went full Rogue.

Carefree and clever, Wilhelmina is the leader of our party, but quite egalitarian as she frequently asks for the group’s consent before making her decisions. Now this is not to say she hasn’t had her share of trouble

(and before I go on I should say TRIGGER WARNING!)

She got groped by one of the other party members after getting knocked unconscious one time. But the player in question apologized for her behavior (she was playing a male dwarf) and soon after, that particular character of hers was “retired”

(/TRIGGER WARNING)

That’s about all the “personality” Wilhelmina has. Pathfinder just doesn’t seem to inspire me to write deeper characters (which I am disappointed in myself for, btw). But I enjoy playing her and discovering the mysteries of the adventure path we are playing through.

Why the GM should have loved this character – Well, without Wilhelmina this campaign would have ground to a halt back in the first story. She drove character action, decided where the players would go, and figured out battle plans. Now a days we have a few more players (and they are willing to step up and make decisions along with me), so Wilhelmina isn’t as necessary. But she’s always ready with input.

Why the GM should have hated this character – Her (and my) biggest problem is we tend to over think our actions. And that has lead to several bouts of the GM having to grind their plans to a complete stop as we’ve changed our minds in mid-action.

Why Mark loves this character – In addition to the fact that I don’t have to write this campaign, I think Wilhelmina epitomizes my desire for old-school gaming. She doesn’t have much backstory, no family that I am aware of, no emotional secrets she’s withholding from someone, etc. Just sit down, play, kill monsters, take their stuff. Easy.

Why Mark has a problem with this character – Honestly? I think about the groping incident more than I’m really comfortable with. When I write stuff like I did about not doing any backstory for her, part of my reluctance is (I think) I don’t want to have to consider how that particular incident would affect how I might write her. Frankly I play role-playing games to get AWAY from how much of real life sucks.

[salamanca]

Ace Armstrong

Ace was a guy I wanted to play in Spirit of the Century but I am literally the only guy in the area that bought that system so it wasn't going to happen. Then somebody got the idea of doing a Skycaptain style game in Savage Worlds and Ace had a place to land.

The plan was to be a team with a secret south pacific island base and futuristic prop planes. And doing Gold Monkey style adventures. But the GM got hung up trying to build aur combat mechanics and the game never got off the ground.

Ace, for his part, was a veteran pilot. He started out as a teen that lied about his age to join the great war. Somebody in the army realized it and made him an aerodrome mechanic to keep him out of combat. Pvt. Armstrong was assigned to a pilot that lost his nerve and kept returning to base with "engine problems". Armstrong got fed up and jumped in the plane himself to prove his own work as solid. Fate put him in the air when the Germans attacked and he shot down a 2 seat scout. Upon landing, the other mechanics praised him and the pilots dubbed him "Ace".

He took a couple more turns for his coward pilot just to prove his mechanic skills were sound and shot down a couple more planes. He made actual Ace status before he actually earned his wings.

He spent the 20's and early 30's crop dusting, barnstorming and teaching people to fly and using his earnings to design and build his own plane. Had the game gotten played, Ace would have served as team mechanic and reluctant combat pilot.

why the GM would have loved him
Ace would have been happy never having to fight in the air amd just using the plane to travel. We could have skipped the combat rules he never finished. Plus Ace was a "never complain, just gonna act and prove you wrong" sort of guy.

why the GM would have hated him
Ace was a reluctant hero and preferred being support. This group would have needed a leader they did not have.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Maximilian Petersen
Oh I know, you’re saying to yourselves. Emo Goths with mounds of self-recrimination for the evils they have done in the world. Blah, blah, blah! Max would agree with you. He put no more thought into what he did to survive than you would ordering an extra-rare steak. Maximillian (“Please, it’s Max, no need to stand on convention.”) was an overly friendly (and thus very off-putting), extremely rich, playboy Ventrue (the types of vampires famous for their Machiavellian schemes) who owned his own progressive Green company (what did it do? Max couldn’t really tell you, that was for the marketing guys to decide). If there was a vampire you did not want to trust, it was the Ventrue. But there Max broke with convention also. Forced to move his vast corporate resources (he owned a Fortune 500 (well 732 really) company he set up shop in LA just prior to the riots (which, had we gotten far enough, would have become a central theme of the campaign). He made himself (and his money, and his minions) available to all the other players, shared freely with the vampires around him and was doing a serviceable job of ingratiating himself into the local culture.

The plan was for Max, three Toreadors (the “artist” type Vampires) and a Gangrel (the “feral” ones) to topple the current Prince of LA (a Vampire who thought “trial-by-combat” was an idea worth bringing back. He actually had his family’s claymore to do that very thing.) Really what would have happened is that Max would have manipulated the other four into doing the dirty work while he became the new Prince (or at least parlayed his actions into a higher status).

You see, Max’s real power was the ability to get others (People, Ghouls, Other Vampires, ANYONE) to do exactly what he told them to do. And he absolutely, unequivocally, did not care who he had to hurt or kill to get what he wanted. Fortunately he was smart enough to know that he wasn’t powerful enough to do it himself. So he needed allies who would trust him, do anything for him, and that’s why he worked and played well with others.

Why the GM should have loved this character – I think Ken (who ran the campaign) was ready to roll with whatever type of game we were building toward. However, I like to hope (and Ken can correct me if I am wrong) he was secretly rooting for a “prisoner’s dilemma” campaign where one never knew who to trust, allies and enemies alike. (and for the record, Yes I had considered turning over my compatriots, and the vampire who’d set us on this path, to the Prince of LA just to get higher status in his organization.)

Why the GM should have hated this character – A Ventrue who was untrustworthy? UNPOSSIBLE! But I guess stereotypes exist for a reason.

Last note I just had to make because I thought it was awesome. I like to name campaigns, and Ken didn’t really have a name for it, so I came up with, To Die and Live in LA.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Ace Armstrong

Ace was a guy I wanted to play in Spirit of the Century but I am literally the only guy in the area that bought that system so it wasn't going to happen. Then somebody got the idea of doing a Skycaptain style game in Savage Worlds and Ace had a place to land.

Hollow Earth Expedition, just saying...

[salamanca]

Oss-O-LOT

Oss is a loyal citizen of Alpha Complex. Whichever Alpha Complex that may be at the time. Oss is usually tasked with working in HPD & Mind Control. But his superiors frequently volunteer him for extra duty as a troubleshooter. The more dangerous the mission, the better as far as they are concerned. If Oss doesn't return and they get a new Oss after the mission, so much the better.

Because Oss is a tattletale. Oss always volunteers as recording officer for troubleshooting missions. Failing that, he takes an avid interest in serving as Equipment Guy so he can requisition extra recording gear. Anything he can use to back up his claims.

Oss always has a long list of infractions ready to countercharge against any happy accidents he may have caused. His list in HPD&MC is usually why he gets sent for troubleshooter duty. The troubleshooters normally don't realize he has them on his list until it is far too late. But The Computer always seems happy to investigate his claims.

Oss is a registered mutant he only has 4 fingers on each hand. That may be causing some other currently undiagnosed and undocumented side effects in Oss to be determined at a later date. (And now you are thinking:"Wait a minute, everybody has 4 fingers on each hand")

Yeah, Oss has Machine Empathy. He convinced the Computer to register him as a mutant under a far less treasonous heading for his own protection. That power is also why The Computer is so willing to take his side.

Oss has made some friends. He doesn't know their names but he helps them get certain clones reported and certain reports filed or lost and in exchange, they have made some potential problems go away for him. The messages they leave are usually marked with a triangle that has an oval inside it and a dot inside that. (Oss has gotten himself involved with the Illuminati)

So what is a clone in the Illuminati with Machine Empathy doing at Orange rank? That's where he is needed and most useful. Orange gives him plenty of Reds to shunt blame down to but isn't a high enough rank to draw a target or attention to himself. He has used his powers and connections to get himself a few extra perks outside his rank. A slightly larger serving of Cold Fun ration, 4 inches more space in his sleeping berth (it has a higher ceiling), priority seating for Teela O MLY shows, etc.

So, hiw does Oss behave on missions? He is the ideal of a dutiful, loyal citizen. He films all actions and does his best to complete the job. He supports his fellow troubleshooters and never, ever doublecrosses a fellow troubleshooter who has not been openly treasonous. He has his team's back...right up until debriefing. Once debriefing starts, the evidence hits the table. Recorded statements, often edited to be worse out of context, hits the table and Oss delivers an inquisitional level barrage of accusations against this band of traitor commie mutants he was assigned to work with. (My record is 4 terminations during debriefing of the same clone) Oss can usually frame the entire team at least once.

why the GM should love him
Oss is a team player. Machine Empathy gets used to save himself as a last resort and to push the mission to completion but not always success. But Oss is never spending mission time working against the group. He isn't triggering interparty fights or showdowns. He doesn't look to wreck plans. He is earnestly trying to do it right. (Until debriefing)

Why the GM hates Oss
Oss is a whiner. And a tattletale so every report he logs is done in a nasal whine with excessive bootlicking praise. It's annoying and often the voice is enough to get Oss what he wants just to stop his talking. (As a player, I know it bugs GMs to hear for anything longer than a minute and i push past that often)

[Black Jack Rackham]

I love Oss... He and Melvin should hang some time...

“Handsome”
Like Wilhelmina above, I am still playing “Handsome.” Lady Grace is our GM (oh and she is EVIL, I should state that at the outset). If you’ve been reading along with my write-ups you already have a pretty good idea of who Handsome is.

But for the uninitiated, “Handsome” is obviously not his real name (in fact the other players just learned his real name after almost half a year of gaming), it is merely what the other sailors who fished him out of the waters off the southern cost of Vodacce called him when they got a look at his horrible visage. He is a Crescent who, at some point in his life, was horribly tortured and mutilated. Among the things that were once part of Handsome but are no more, are; two fingers off his left hand, his right eye, and his tongue. In addition, he walks as though his legs were broken and badly reset. His remaining fingers are similarly afflicted. He wears a shroud and hooded cloak to keep others’ revulsion at a minimum. Despite that, he is a kind soul who is rather adept as a healer, and seemingly understands most languages. The problem is, while he can understand what others say, he cannot write to tell them of his thoughts (well that’s not exactly true, he can write nearly all the Crescent languages, but none of his compatriots can read those).

This has forced me to do pantomime to get my thoughts across (which is extra funny when you consider I am doing it over video on Google Hangouts). Add to that the fact that one of our other players has taken Handsome under his wing and like any good Englishman (sorry Avalon) has decided that “helping” me just means shouting all his instructions at me slowly, in heavily articulated Avalon (I’m not going to lie, it’s Jeremy).

As for the rest, like how did Handsome get this way, what brought him to Avalon in the first place, why was he found half drowned, etc. I can’t really say, the other players have not, as yet, delved that deeply into Handsome’s background.

Why the GM should have loved this character – a Mute character with Foul Weather Jack and Cursed as his current background? What’s NOT to love from a GM perspective? The only way I could have made this better for LG would be to give him Amnesia. He is a ready-made player-torturing machine. A couple of months ago LG“fixed” Handsome’s missing eye by having der Shattenmann give him a replacement. It’s not an eye like you or I might think. It’s jet black, can see in every direction, and cannot ever be closed, even when I want it to. It sees through matter and has revealed some awful things to me (in fact, at one point, I got to see just exactly what der Shattenmann really looks like, oh yea, and Jeremy’s character? He fools around, a LOT, in the room next door. I have to watch him, whether I want to or not.*).

Why the GM should have hated this character – ***LG THERE IS NO REASON TO TAKE THIS AS A CHALLENGE TO YOUR AUTHORITY, I HEREBY ADMIT YOU ARE MORE EVIL THAN I, NO NEED TO TORTURE ME FURTHER TO PROVE IT!*** ahem, we good? Ok. If I had to choose, I would probably say that Handsome could be considered a lot of work for a GM. Foul Weather Jack alone means you have to plot out where you’re going with the tortures, and each one has to be unique (though not necessarily worse than what came before it). That works fine when you have a set end for a campaign, but in an open ended one, it could be a lot of extra work just to torture one person (who never did anything terrible to you, and is really sorry for having inflicted Floki on you, and didn’t have anything whatsoever to do with turning Mike into a chair…)

*I know, you’re saying to yourself, well Mark if you don’t want Handsome to watch, just roll over. And in response I say, I think you weren’t reading carefully. I said the eye can see 360° and through matter. SO I CAN LOOK OUT THROUGH MY OWN SKULL…

And one more thing to creep you out about the eye? I tested it to see if it was solid or what, turns out it’s just an inky black hole. I can push my finger in all the way up to the knuckle, and not find anything…

[Lady Grace]

*whistles innocently*

[salamanca]

Just take the bow now, Grace. You earned it. I know it and I am only getting second person reports on this.

[salamanca]

Sal played Sailor Moon? Seriously? Yeah, this was my final lesson on why you should never let a non-gamer significant other pick your events. First: a little backstory on the event.

Guardians of Order, the company behind Big Eyes, Small Mouth and Sailor Moon used to sponsor and run a lot of events at Origins and GenCon. You could sign up with the company to run events for them and get your badge covered. I had a friend that did that for a couple years.

One small catch... the event write up would promise a specific plot and maybe an anime series it would be based on. And when you got to the con, your GM package was an envelope with the event paperwork to fill out for the con and a couple coupons for best player prizes and... no adventure or rulebook to run it with. They expected you to wing it.

I should have known better. I should have followed plan A and signed up for Floyd's Firefly session. Instead, I end up in Clark with 4 effusive Sailir Moon fans, and a GM that had no idea he was not being given any adventure to run. He has also never watched Sailor Moon. (Neither have I but I am not running the game)

Smart move would have been to run the pregen characters from the show in the demo adventure printed in the rulebook. The GM is not smart. He is going to run that terrible adventure but he wants time to read it and declares we are making characters and they cannot be named for established characters. And there is only 1 rulebook at the table so we gotta share it while he keeps taking it to read the adventure.

This takes up about 2 hours of a 4 hour block. I was ready to walk, she said we are staying. I have walked across the hall to offer Bull Ratkovich money to take over GM duty for this chump. (And that is literally the last person on earth i would ever ask to do that)

Toyama
I made a guy. It appears guys are avatars of an emotion like "love" or "hope". The GM has me frustrated and belligerant... Toyama is the avatar of lust. There are going to be no punches pulled. Worse for him, i have read the adventure and know where it is going. 3 abilities will take care of the 3 big challenges pretty smoothly. So adventure will succeed but GM is going to suffer for it.

I am partnered with Sailor Planet X, Sailor Tattooine, Sailor Vulcan, and Sailor Dune: Arrakis, Desert Planet (who insists on full name usage at all times)

The GM sets the scene and I trigger powers. In current gaming, trigger buttons and safe play protocals would have been slapped right there. In my defense, at no point did i target a player. But the NPCs were devolved into a hentai nightmare session.

The players were mostly frustrated and glad to see him squirm. Planet X did leave. But only because we were not being serious enough.

After the game, I walked down to the Guardian's booth with the GM and read them the riot act about submitting events and not actually providing the GM anything to run. (They never did get it right)

why the GM should love him
No reason at all. Toyama was made to ruin his day.

why the GM should hate him
Toyama only exists for hate.

[Black Jack Rackham]

John Henry “Doc” Holliday
Played a 1-Shot CoC adventure at Origins many years ago set in the Wild West. Unbeknownst to me, it was all the gunslingers from the Ok Corral incident. And as luck would have it, I got Doc Holliday (absolutely my favorite character in this story, so I have done more than a little research on him). The thing that stands out to me about all this (at least as far as Doc is concerned) is the deep, abiding friendship between Doc and Wyatt Earp. So as I am reading this, I need to make something about their friendship stand out. Problem is, the guy playing Wyatt is a complete stranger to me. So I decide the only way I can play this is to playfully needle him about some, non-essential, issue during gameplay.

Now I also remember that Doc was a bit, um, prickly. He didn’t like a lot of people and he certainly didn’t have any qualms about disparaging them (what are they gonna do about it? Throw down with one of the most deadly gunfighters in the west? Not likely).

So I go with a version of the semi-dandy, slight southern accented portrayal done in Tombstone (masterfully played by Val Kilmer*). And it works well, seeing I am doing Val’s Doc causes “Wyatt” to start doing Kurt Russell. I talk smack to someone and he jumps in to say I’m drunk or that’s just my sense of humor. It’s working well. But I still need them to be friends.

We check into a hotel before the weirdness starts and the innkeeper wants me to pay. I am no plebian, I don’t carry money (and I really don’t feel like paying anyway) so I say, “Ahm afraid I don’t carry any money. But Ahm certain Wyatt can settle my bill.” It causes all the rest of the table to freeze. They don’t know if Wyatt is going to play along or call me out on my bulls**t. But he’s a good sport, rolls his eyes and proceeds to fumble for his wallet. And just like that we have precedence. Every time money is called for I find some way to force Wyatt to pay for me. After the third or fourth time, he tries to cut me off, but I’m already ahead of him and have “lost” my wallet. Wyatt shakes his head sadly, knowing he is beaten. And now I’m just walking past random things, picking them up and saying “Wyatt, pay the man.”

A couple of hours later, we’re facing the beasties, Wyatt is leading the charge up in front of us like a hero he is, while the rest of us have huddled in a narrow hallway to keep the beasties from overwhelming us. It works well enough for a short while, but then, at just the very wrong-est of moments, Wyatt takes what is most certainly a lethal wound. When we get to Doc’s turn, I connive the GM into giving me a bonus to my shooting for just this scene since my best friend is dying and the SOBs who killed him are right in front of me. And for good measure as I am asking for the bonus, I channel Val, bastardizing his best quote, "Make no mistake, it's not revenge he's after. It's a reckoning.”

Throwing caution to the wind, Doc runs from the relative safety of the hallway toward Wyatt. As he gets out in the open, he becomes the Angel of Death personified, slaughtering critters left and right, assured neither He nor Wyatt will survive but determined not to go down without a fight. It lasts right up until he gets to Wyatt where he throws down his guns and says goodbye before the light leaves Wyatt’s eyes. “Wyatt, when you get to St. Peter, let him know I’ll crawl my way outa Hell if he doesn’t let you in. And tell him to put your bill on my tab.”

Rather than throw damage at us, the GM simply pulls back to the hallway where the other players are and describes to them how a veritable wave of horrible beasties engulfs us.

The game ends a short while (maybe half an hour) later and the players are supposed to pick a favorite player. They are stuck because they want Wyatt and I to share it, unfortunately there’s only one prize (one of the CoC books). But I convince them Wyatt deserves it most (plus I already have the book they’re giving away, I just don’t tell them that).

Why the GM should have loved this character – Well GM wrote him, so I guess he liked the character (I know I adored him, so much so I asked if I could keep the character sheet). But I think from a roleplaying perspective, Wyatt’s player was really the key to why Doc was liked so well. Had he not played along, this would have been a very different game (just a bunch of gunfighters going after Mythos beasts, and dying horribly I might add).

Why Mark should have loved this character – I GOT TO PLAY DOC FRICKIN’ HOLLIDAY!!!!

Why the GM should have hated this character – I think the playful “Wyatt, pay the man.” asides got a little old. I realized pretty quickly that I had a limited opportunity so I tried to move on from it, but the other players got involved. And it could have de-railed the horror game that we all came to play. But fortunately the GM put us on the track of the beasties and soon we were focused on the matter at hand.

Why Mark should have hated this character – Also the “Wyatt pay the man” thing. Had Wyatt not been killed it would most certainly have been relegated to some non-sequitur. Fortunately, I got inspired when he took all that damage at once.

In addition, there was the adventure itself. My reading of CoC while it might be overwhelming hoards of beasties but a straight up shoot-out with them? That’s the stuff of Deadlands. To this day I am not certain how the GM expected us to get to the end of this thing. IIRC we were inside some kind of alien spaceship full of these things and just the 6 of us were supposed to stop them? Also we spoke with the GM about the game length, we had just started inside the spaceship and had finished about 1/3 of the adventure. Sheesh…

*Say what you want about Val (I’ve heard many times he’s a difficult person to be around) but damn, after Tombstone I can’t see anyone else doing Doc correctly.

[salamanca]

Gutter Snipe
Not his given name. Nobody ever asked him his real name. Nobody cared to find out about that. Gutter Snipe was a gnome with a crossbow. Well, obviously, he was more than that.

It was a big party with the same large crew from Steve's failed 3rd ed. Evil campaign. Steve had bought that first ever level 1-20 adventure campaign and wanted to run it. It was a bloated group. The min maxer had built a cleric that was the equal of any 4 regular characters of the same level. Then he built characters for the 5 "beginners" in the group and spent every session making their choices for them. (Never could get him to step back amd let them learn from their own mistakes. He was a win the game at all costs type.) The other min max guy built an Archer that was shooting stuff on the horizon. I opted to go character over useful just to tick them off.

So, Gutter Snipe was a Ranger with an Urban design plan. A city Ranger built to survive and scavenge on the streets. He tagged with the nickname on first contact. (Probably Big Jim's fault) Because this Gnome was a filthy, dirty homeless Gnome living in a crate in an alley with a big dog as his animal companion. The dog was some sort of Afghan or Wheaten Terrier. Something with long wiry hair that was mangy and matted. I named him after the cleric to tick the player off a little more. (With an in game comment that "this" Father Krel actually listened to orders)

The Gutter Snipe was unrepentant in his squalor. No player efforts to clean him up ever stuck. Money earned fed other homeless folks in the town, getting lost playing a gambling/drinking game one of the players invented in character called "slippery halfling" and being buried "for later" under street pavers...turns out, those pavers ALL look alike.

Between us, the dog was the better fighter. The Archer usually had killed 4-6 enemies by the time i got the crossbow loaded let alone fired. The holy man usually unleashed some mass "only targets enemies" spell even before that so I never did much of anything. Except eat questionable stuff and smell bad.

The Gutter Snipe may have also been crazy. He often talked about seeing things and hearing things. Sometimes conversations were held without tthe others...sometimes they were arguements with Morgo. I have no idea who Morgo was or if he had ever been real. He may have been the Snipe's old partner, he may have always been made up, he may have been a prank the Snipe was playing on the others. I was never sure. (And it was my organic idea, not something Steve added)

why the GM loved him
Homeless bum with a dog. No desire for fame or glory or riches. He is on this quest because it needs done and failure destroys the city and he doesn't want to find a new crate. This guy was so GM friendly and easy to just slot into the game. He made his own entertainment and didn't let it interfere with the plotline.

why the GM hated him
He needed me running a leader for that group. Someone who could stop the puppet show that was happening with the Cleric. But it would have split the party.

This was just a flat out fun character to play. Always sidetracked, never ready until he was really needed. But more fun was just flaunting any scene of social niceties.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Brenda Starr, Ace Reporter
Another convention character I played just once but had a blast running. Yes, this is the very same Brenda Starr, Ace Reporter from the comics.

For several years after breaking down and going to Origins, I would hear stories about the Call of Cthulhu games run by, “CthulhuBob Lovely” I even met him a bunch of times without knowing it was the same person (he helped run the will call badge registration for many years). So one year, with a couple of hours to spare, I got myself a ticket to one of his games. I think it was called The LobsterMen from Mars! or some such. But it looked delightfully reminiscent of 50’s rubber-suited monster men flicks (the kind I’d watched as a child late at night when I was supposed to be in bed).

Unfortunately (or fortunately as you shall see) I arrived late and so was given the only character left (which turned out awesomely for me), the aforementioned Brenda Starr, Ace Reporter. So the scoop is, I am going to this small Midwestern town where some odd stuff is happening, we’ve heard rumors of bizarre creatures but nothing specific. Now, as Dave mentioned in one of his characters previously, CthulhuBob had fallen into the trope of giving the female characters not much to do in the physical sense. Now, if you’d wanted Brenda to interview a cultist or do some research on the history of this town, Brenda was your woman. HOWEVER, by the time I got seated the other players had already thrown caution to the wind and were rushing headlong into their first monster encounter.

And poor Brenda had almost no combat skills to speak of. PLUS my list of equipment included “a tasteful and professional skirt and blouse, and accompanying high heels.” Well ain’t that some sexist B******T! And playing true to characters the other men at the table kept urging me to stay safely out of the fighting and “poo-poo’ing” all of my ideas. Well, Brenda only had one thing to say about that…

“You can either wait for the men to do it, or you can do it right yourself the first time.”

So I watch for a few seconds, realizing quickly they are going to get their butts kicked by the LobsterMen they’re fighting. I jump in the nearest vehicle (which is an ambulance) and race to their rescue. Bob asks me if Brenda has any driving skill. NOPE not a lick. So being generous, he gives me a 5% chance. I roll “00” But before Bob can pronounce sentence. I point out that my goal had been to drive up near the men so they could climb aboard. And, since I failed spectacularly, I probably hit a Lobsterman or two on the way. Bob stares at me open-mouthed for a second before he starts laughing. Brenda thermadore’s the Lobstermen and saves the day.

(now had this been any other type of game than schlock 50’s horror, I’d have crashed and burned. But Bob was playing with the “You can do it as long as it’s entertaining” plan, so it worked out just right for me).

Now the precedent is set. For the next two hours the men go off half-cocked. At every turn, they completely ignore the only person in the room with a sensible plan (me). And within seconds of their decision they are regretting life since they are in over their heads. And who comes to their rescue? Yup, good ol’ Brenda saving their dumb a$$es yet again.

(in one of the fights, they left me with the machine gun which I dutifully dropped on the floor, causing it to empty it’s 50 round barrel drum clip into the ooze slowly dissolving the men (I describe it as Brenda getting completely frustrated at their antics and becoming so mad she throws the machine gun on the ground, but the sound of her screaming “I QUIT!” is drowned out by the staccato fire of the Thompson).

And now you’re kind of rooting for Brenda to win the whole thing, right? I wish I had better news for you. Idiots push their luck too far. It was the fourth time Brenda had to save them from their own stupidity. They all get out of the trap and WHAT DO THEY DO? Yep, they leave ol’ Brenda to die. Not a one of them thankless SOBs comes back to see if I need anything. As the radiation men turn me into a puddle, they just wander off.

Straight into the big bad which kills them all handily, while chastising them for their sexism and lack of loyalty. It was a glorious trainwreck.

Why the GM should have loved this character – All I can say is, I managed to keep the whole table laughing throughout the adventure (or at least as much of it as I managed to get through). We were done quite early (just over 3 hours) and I lasted maybe half an hour less than that. So, entertaining and (I think) well role-played. (I loudly expressed my derision of the men and their stupid decisions, and for their parts the others either treated me like a small, petulant child (which I assuredly was not), or outright pretended I hadn’t said a word).

Why the GM should have hated this character – As written, CthulhuBob should have gone back to the drawing board with this character. Or maybe put a mechanic in place to allow for “beginner’s luck” or some such. The adventure idea had promise, but CoC is not the game for semi-comedic 50’s horror.

[MacShidhe]

...but CoC is not the game for semi-comedic 50’s horror.

The game itself, no. The genre is almost as self parodying as Warhammer 40K.

Shawn Goth
Type: Real Weirdie

Smarts: 5
Bod: 2
Relationship with Parents: 6
Luck: 3
Driving: 6
Looks: 5
Cool: 5
Bonk: 5

Powers: Bounce, Monster Out, Shapechange

Knacks: Frighten Anybody +2, Get Date +1, Know Things-Mortals-Were-Not-Meant-To-Know +2

Traits: Curious, Friendly, Vengeful

Locker Contents: Pencils, Pens, schoolwork, textbooks, Book of Eibon (abridged)

Shawn is a gelatinous mass of eyes and mouths who is very happy he didn't need braces or glasses, like his older sibling did. His parents left their far-off world to seek a better life, away from the barrel shaped leaders who had dominated them. He does his best to fit in by taking the shape of people who are popular with his peers. His parents understand his desire to fit in but keep a very traditional home and expect him to keep his natural form when he is around the house. He doesn't invite his friends over much.

[Black Jack Rackham]

...but CoC is not the game for semi-comedic 50’s horror.

The game itself, no. The genre is almost as self parodying as Warhammer 40K.

snip...

Touche.

[salamanca]

True story. The loony that was running with Armistice and Mr. 42 Guns was so broken, the GM had to rewrite several mechanics that ended up in 3rd ed. (Initiative being the big one.)

Chuck Schlick

Named after a frat boy I knew in college and didn't much like.

Chuck was not a Shadowrunner. He was a graduate student of Sociology studying the culture of Shadowrunners. He was just supposed to be interviewing Runners for his Dissertation but getting Runners to talk is harder than it looks so Chuck started trying to find Runners who would let him go on "Ride Alongs".

The first Runners to agree were setting him up to take the fall for their crime. He barely avoided conviction and almost got kicked out of school. His advisor made it very clear this behavior could not continue and he needed to finish his research in a purely academic manner. Chuck didn't listen. He went back out on the streets. He spent his Grant money to buy some less than legal skill chips, a gun and a whole lot of wicked stereo equipment from the "Crutchfield Catalog".

He was a wide eyed innocent who was learning fast. He was slower, less armed, non-magical, and undercybered. He never should have survived. But College had taught him something the others didn't have...how to manipulate organizational processes. He could dance through red tape and get them in and out of a Corp in a mostly legitimate fashion. He discovered that years of buying booze underage converted well to black market negotiations. He found ways to make himself useful enough to keep around.

He never did finish that paper. He is currently on sabbatical from school "continuing his research".

Mechanically, Chuck took money as his priority. He bought a double port skill chip reader, cyber eyes with recording function (just for research totally not for dates) a pistol targetting system because he really needed that badly. And the rest went for a lot of home audio equipment and a cyberdeck so he could get his homework done and do some light cyberspace surfing.

why the GM loved him
Chuck wasn't a gritty, lone wolf tough guy. He was friendly, talkative and social. He wanted to be a group and was naive enough to think nobody was out to take advantage of him. So I was walking head on into everything.

why the GM hated him
I did a 180 from most experienced and worldlu character to the rookie needing guidance and we didn't really change up most of the players at thee table. They hadn't evolved enough for that at the time.

Plus...stereotype movie frat boy.