the Strangeness that is my life

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Jul 07, 2013 11:50 pm

Yeah!. It's renn faire season in northern ohio. Spent the weekend tromping down muddy lanes, dodging hugs from well intentioned ladies and men. (for some reason, the faire is a place where hugging is considered a near mandatory greeting method for friends, friends of friends, people you think you met last year and absolute strangers talking to a vendor you know). Built myself a widget prop morning of day one: a "drama delete button". To cancel out the personal drama that seems to gather like flies around people that hang out at these sorts of events. (it's a non functioning doorbell button inserted in a small wooden box with brass corners and a bit of line art). I would have made it ring or light up but I had to scrap internal bits to make it fit. Damn near wore it out already. Spent today teaching new cast members some very old games and hanging out with a couple of friends that will not make it to the rest of the run.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Jul 08, 2013 12:04 am

You were wondering where the weird bit was in the last post... I saved it. The first performer I ever made friends with is the current entertainment director and he is busy doing shows all day. So somebody needs to be able to check on the cast, other acts, etc. Turns out it's my turn. The one place I have no responsibility...i need to learn that "no" word better. I'm basically just needed to make sure cast are not abandoning areas of the park, step in and escort nobles around as "bodyguard" or "royal advisor" if nobody else is available and spread last minute instructions or rally help for shows that end up short handed. (which around here will only be every other show). I may need to break out the "castillian ambassador" bit again. (it's basically Rodrigo with more tact and impulse control). It also means more heavy fancy garb and less of the comfy peasant clothing. Strangely, it still fits my rule of "do not have to be anyplace specific at a certain time" but allows me to be involved as a character pretty much as much as I wish.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Jul 08, 2013 12:18 am

For Laura, the "no falling off stuff" update:. Yeah, that is like the official unofficial rule for the year. I have several very watchful people monitoring that I not only avoid falling off stuff but also do not lift stuff, fling stuff, stand too long, sit too long and avoid slippery surfaces (like ohio ground). The railing in question was nailed back up to potentially break again. But I did take a lap around with the maintenance guy today discussing other issues the hardcore regulars noticed during prep days or on day one (like a bleacher that was unbolted from the frame for no good or safe reason). And I forgot the newest attraction... A mermaid that spends the day splashing around in a small pool near the pirate encampment (the pirates went fishing for her). Nothing could go wrong with a small, shallow bed of water with minimal circulation in the middle of the woods... And it turns out the mermaid is new to fair but I know her from elsewherefreaking tiny world.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Jul 17, 2013 11:13 pm

Seems like the renn faire bug has me good right now. I have offered the last couple of years to build simple props for cast members. Every year...crickets until week two when somebody suddenly realizes I was serious. Usually it's wands or a cane or some pirate name dice. This year, it's an entire freaking set of golf clubs made out of sticks (and balls). So that's 5 canes, 8 balls and a couple sets of pirate name dice (plus a gluckhaus board/pouch for a friend and a leather carry case for a portable mist sprayer that is way too handy). So the canes are cut and need a sanding and a touch of finish shaping. The balls are mostly done... Just need to number or otherwise identify them for variety. And the dice I can do saturday morning. The case may need to wait a week. I even built a chainmail ball today for my own use. (fingers are damn sore from that, should have used pliers).
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby smafdi » Fri Jul 19, 2013 9:49 am

what is it with you chainmail guys and using your fingers. i got a buddy who did the same thing...... USE PLIERS! geez
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:17 pm

Pliers are like using chopsticks. they get in your way so much it's a hassle to bother with. Fingers go where you need them right away. plus, they don't scratch stuff up.

ok, now for the clubs for this golf game... I'm naming them.
Buxom Bertha is a play off of the "Big Bertha" drivers that were sold a few years back. it amuses me.
Excalibur is a given.
Then I am thinking Mjolnir because one has a big honking hammer looking head on it.
Then Tizona and Joyeuse (the swords of El Cid and Charlemagne)
and I got one more...may let the actor name that one.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Fri Jul 19, 2013 6:09 pm

What, no love for STORMBRINGER?!?!
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Jul 20, 2013 7:49 am

Absolutely no love at all for that. Strom went and brought itself. Flooded out again. All my work to repair stuff just over a week ago is once again washed out. (we never just get normal rain anymore) so I shall not be having any free or fun time this weekend. And Elric is a whiny book.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sat Jul 20, 2013 8:32 am

salamanca wrote:And Elric is a whiny book.

Books. Moorcock can't stop writing about his favorite albino even though he finished the story way back in 1977. Heck if he keeps it up, he might even beat the whiny quotient of Thomas Covenant.

EDIT: Apparently Donaldson is still writing Thomas Covenant too... (shudder)
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Sat Jul 20, 2013 11:08 am

Grabthar's Hammer! :twisted:
"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

And here's where I try to be a writer...
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Well, thanks to flooding today, I had to go rebuild those 3 damn bridges again. (over 3 inches of rain dropped in about an hour and a half last night). Areas north of us were even worse. So I got that done and still found time to get to the renn faire. The golf cudgels went over VERY well (and I totally gave them minimal effort) the lady at the gate insisted I show the owner and summoned her. 15 minutes later, the Entertainment Director did the same thing. They also got their putt putt course set up and it needs some serious rebuild work. Also bought new eating tines from the smith. (two prong fork). And now there are plans to enact a D&D game onsite. (well, one of us describing the scene and the others reacting to stuff amid the patrons...more of a performance bit). I think I may submit my offer to run that. I may also push the group to play the cartoon characters. Currently, the fad is gearing up for pirate weekend. Letters of Marque are being drawn up (Capt. Redshirt has them signed by both queens and his friend the hawkeye/katniss cosplayer) I may need to top that with letters from the gypsy king, regular king, mayor, mermaid, and the pirate queen. There are also wanted posters going up for all 13 pirates officially on site. (pirate queen is a spaniard character this year. She has a name that fills a line of paper in 10 point font...i am so proud).
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Aug 04, 2013 12:10 am

Ok, so I ran a 9 player LARP today. At the renn faire. During the faire. We played D&D (Dave and Dragons). I had a group of cast members marching through the park playing classes as divorced as I could get them from their cast roles. As kids and people that looked likely to get the joke approached I would run up and explain that I needed a group of trolls or goblins to attack my adventuring party and ask them to help out. (as the whole point is finding a new way for cast to play with the patrons). Apparently it went well enough they want to play again tomorrow as they survived and leveled up. Todays quest was given by Capt. John Stout (look him up online) who sent them to find the cow that produces produce. A reference to a local vendor onsite. I was also later in the day asked by the FEMALE pirate captain if I happened to have a spare pair of dry underwear as she had just been tossed in the mermaid lagoon. I pointed out it would probably be sort of creepy if I did have a pair in her size on hand. (a point she conceded but was willing to accept at that point).
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Aug 05, 2013 12:24 am

Today's "Dave and Dragons" LARP kicked butt. The cast figured it out overnight on their own and wer into it better. We had a quest issued from the "Fae King" to seek out the princess in blue and recover his magical wooden bowl and then take said bowl to Friar Pluck's and fill it with a sacrifice of a chicken and some sacrificial potatoes befoee returning it to him. (that's right, the cast member playing the faerie king sent them to get his lunch). A group of teen boys decided they were too small to be ogres and attacked as goblins. One ran away as soon as weapons were drwan and the restwere distracted when the magic user cast pretend gold coins on the ground allowing the heroes to escape. Said goblins returned for 3 more encounters as we kept crossing paths. The party was then turned into frogs by a group of rainbow sprites. I was going to make them find maidens and princes to kiss them (as a group of senior citizens were approaching) but they saw a guy in a Kermit T-shirt and declared him the frog god and sought restoration. Then the random encounter of awesomeness. 4 young ladies dressed as elves and fairies asked what we were doing, the cavalier was charming, the bard sang them a song and the group danced to entertain them so the girls joined the party as their magical protectors. They tagged along for the rest of our bit which ran about 35 more minutes. That was awesome fun as they upped the stakes on everything else we did including regenerating the mayor's barbarian character who kept dying over and over. And now it has become a thing we are doing every day.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:30 pm

I had to pass off running the faire larp today. I was needed elsewhere as an official "evil henchman and escort" for the villianous Princess Anastasia. Due to health issues and personal stuff, we were decidedly shorthanded on villiany. Then young lord Clifford (the prince's lapdog knight) turned into Peter Pan mid afternoon for no explicable reason. Leading to some rather immense and stupid real life drama about doing one's job vs being allowed to have some extra fun. And just about closing time all the relationship drama exploded and ... I still don't know what happened with all that, I actually don't even know half the people that were involved with that. And I still don't get why they came to me about it.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sat Aug 10, 2013 11:35 pm

salamanca wrote:And I still don't get why they came to me about it.

Isn't that obvious? You're the GM, you're supposed to be arbitrary...
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Aug 11, 2013 8:57 am

DISCLAIMER:. I am not the GM for anybody's real life personal relationships. I got out of that career. Glad to meet you, don't care about your foolish 3 week marriage 5 years ago or why it's causing issues with your decision to date the guy running the "toss a severed head in a basket" game (not making that up). Well, one more day of chaos. Cannot wait. Almost as good as Origins.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 04, 2013 9:24 pm

Ok, this post is pretty epic. I got approached on the street (well, sidewalk) the other day by this guy I do not know. He's late 50's or early 60's and I have seen him around at restaurants I frequent, the coffee shop, the store, gas station, etc but I have never spoken to him. He stands out because he is an older guy with a terrible habit of wearing tank tops to show off his formerly muscled arms. As I stated, I have never spoken to him and as far as I know we have no common friends or contacts outside of a barista and some waitresses. So this guy walks up to me on the sidewalk, extends his hand and says, "I just wanted you to know that I am a really big Randolph Scott fan.". He then spends like a minute telling me how Mr. Scott made some really great westerns before I can excuse myself and drive away. Before you ask, I still have no clue what that was about or why he felt the need to inform me of that. His (i presume) wife was standing there and acted as if it was a perfectly normal way to greet a stranger. I did however immediately regret not having a hat on so I could pull the Blazing Saddles joke and place it over my heart while reverently repeating the name.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:29 pm

Randolph Scott...(cue music) RANDOLPH SCOTT (/music)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yS0efFNShqo

Found a shirt you should wear next time you see him...
http://www.meta-cortex.com/blazing-saddles-randolph-scott-t-shirt
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Sep 12, 2013 8:15 pm

I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 24, 2013 5:35 pm

I am pretty sure I must have died last night and am now in hell.

I spent the day digging rocks and gravel out of the creek on the course that keeps flooding. Mind you I don't have any expensive and efficient earth moving equipment, I have a shovel. (and a pick) But I foolishly got a lot done yesterday so I had free time to do this project and somebody is a little mad I am starting the mall job next week. So I spent 6 hours making about 70 feet of creekbed wider and at least a foot deeper.

And that was the best part of my day.

The mall job...
The Franchise owner left me a series of phone messages today because her husband is incapable of remembering and relaying information correctly. So she needs me to tell her directly in order to misinterpret the information her own way.

The problem is simple. The mall has decided to allow a sporting goods store to build in their parking lot next to JC Penneys and construct an connecting hallway by tearing out a storefront they have had trouble renting lately. (About 2 doors down from my usual shop location)

Not seeing a problem with that? Neither was the mall until Penneys filed a lawsuit claiming they were never informed about the project. And that is a very unrealistic claim seeing as everybody else seems to have known about it.

Still should not be a problem. Except Penneys, being petty filed a complaint that the stores along the construction zone have no access to their back doors because of the construction fencing. And that means they cannot use their back doors as emergency exits. (and our fire marshal HATES the mall so she is being extra horrid about this)

So I told the boss to check and see if it affected us because we have no back door on our store. So we should be good. Unless they opt to give that store to a regular business forced to close because of this. Now we are in the air about getting the store or having a kiosk on that end or not doing anything down there and just doing the double kiosk set up we normally have at the other end.

So I don't know what I have to manage or if I need employees. But I do know that despite having direct conversations with mall management, the boss and his wife still have no idea what their options are.

That is the second best part of my day.

My longest term, most reliable, star employee called this afternoon to tell me she would not be coming back to work for us because she feels (rightly) that after 9 years of loyal effort, she deserves to be paid more than the new help making minimum wage and goofing off on the job. And she does deserve that raise and the boss will not pay any of our staff more than minimum regardless of their effort, talent or tenure. (because he feels they are easily replaced by untrained people that cannot get a job at a fast food restaurant)

So I lost my star employee.

Employee number 2 is not as good at the job but does take pretty much any shift, shows up reliably, does the job even if she does not do anything beyond the basics. and she is good with customers. She is not a sales pusher like my star but she is decent.

And I called her to see about helping set up the shop next week. And she is going to be out of town helping her daughter with a new baby until December. And she pretty much told me she would be available to fill in some around then but not do regular shifts.

Employee number 3 is my games expert. He knows more about boardgames than I do. And he has moved 2 hours away.

The three of them were usually good to cover 11 of our 14 shifts each week.

Employee 4 is a retired guy. he is willing to come back on the condition he only works 2 shifts a week. Right now, I'll take it.

Employee 5 is my sister. She just got transferred to a different branch of her company. her schedule has changed and is about to shift again. she is willing to give me maybe 2 shifts but they will probably need to be weekends. but that could change depending on what happens with her staff. (I will literally lose her if she has 2 employees that suddenly need leave time. (and half her staff has weird health issues)

Employee 6 I wanted to fire anyway. but he sent me a note saying he could help set up but would probably need fewer shifts than last year. (last year I grew to hate using him so much I had reduced him to 1 shift a week. no Idea how I would reduce that)

Employee 7 is more than willing to help out and work as much as his college course load and 3 other jobs will leave him free to do so. He is an overachiever with no idea how useful he is. but that means I get him for one shift every other week.

Yep, pretty sure I am in retailer hell right now. Feel like Anthony Lapaglia in Empire Records.

This
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Tue Sep 24, 2013 7:01 pm

Gee, and I thought I was having a bad day, as I had to do 2nd shift today (usually do opening on Tuesday), to help the woman who took my first shift, because she had to go to the hospital to pick up her husband in the late afternoon, so needed the morning shift.

I really hate it when she opens, she has no organization skills at all, starts several projects at once and leaves them half finished, with no instructions on what she did, and what is left to do. She told me she had done all the bouquets we got from out Organic Farm, and all the work was done. I just happened to see some of it down in the walk in, when looking for something else, and yep, she had gun priced them all, but none of them have scanner stickers, and so I had to go back and re-do them all with a scanner sticker, and they all look like a mess, because she didn't clean them up, and I don't have the time, because I am still trying to catch up with 2 day ago stuff that somehow didn't get done, re-do the Organic Farm stuff, then get to today's stuff.

So I got in at 12:30 pm and finally at 6:30 pm I am finally starting on today's work. I am leaving at 8 pm no matter what, because I have to be back at work tomorrow at 7am, so I need to get up by 4:30am.

Thanks Dave for making me feel better. Somewhat. :roll:
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 25, 2013 12:45 pm

Tales from the mall early edition (for Mark). Just hung up with corporate office. First I had to try and explain to Store Operation that despite the fact there is no difference between an orange and black extention cord (beyond color) our local fire marshal has a deep rooted hatred for orange cords and will not allow us to use them. He kept insisting it would be fine and I kept explaining she WILL cut it leaving us with no electricity. Then I had a chat with product planning about the game booth. Now, it seems perfectly reasonable to me that placing the ADULT party games on the shelves facing Build A Bear is a bad idea. Moving those games to the other end near the register (where I can keep an eye on them) and moving the childrens games into the spot facing the Bear store seems like a really great move. Apparently I am wrong in this and would have had a better chance of getting Syria to play nice. These guys are very defensive about their layout schematics for booths in locations they have never seen. (BTW, moving the party games places them in front of Hot Topic but again, that is just too good for marketing).
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Wed Sep 25, 2013 3:17 pm

YAY! I love reading these stories!

Unfortunately for you Dave, I think I see the problem. You appear to be thinking this through. YES, THINKING! You've got to stop doing that. It's dangerous and at some point you're likely to hurt yourself. Thus far the only people you've spoken to about this know better than to think this through. They're trying to warn you but you aren't listening. Eventually you're going to tell someone who will think it through too. I think we're safe since we don't have to live though the stupidity up close, but think about your employees!!! WHY CAN'T SOMEONE THINK ABOUT THE EMPLOYEES?!?
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Wed Sep 25, 2013 4:05 pm

The STUPID----it BURNS!!!!

Jenny (Mark's wife)
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:25 pm

You think I trust employees near the game booth?. Ok, update time. We are losing our storefront to a plan to add a concourse to the sporting goods store. They are planning on tearing stuff up (opening a hole in the wall) January 1. Yeah, snow season.
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