the Strangeness that is my life

[salamanca]

I must have missed those threads full of comments. Unrelated and grating:. The mall is now playing christmas songs. 40 minutes in and I am ready to strangle a snowman with sleighbells. Totally related: marketing manager and an office flunky were walking around about 30 minutes ago. A random mall walker passed, looked at thewm and commented,"they are always walking around but they never seem to do anything".

[Black Jack Rackham]

Out of the mouths of mall walkers...

[salamanca]

Ok, follow up on today. As I may have mentioned last week, I have a couple employees that are not exactly comprehending the need to give me their availability to work (around their other jobs) and/or show up on time thinking no harm can come from being 30 minutes late. So I am looking at possible replacements. This guy around 20 has been wandering around, talking games with me and asked the other day about a job. But he caught me at the location without applications so I told him drop back by later. Today he shows up and fills one out. I don't know this kid, never got his name, he is a total stranger...or not. He lists his grandpa as a reference. (i don't see this as overly odd as I have been employed by my own granddad and listed him). But it turns out I not only know the guy, he's been a customer at the golf course for 25 years. I bought a used car off him once. Small freaking world.

[salamanca]

I also spent the very slow day watching the heads of the security staff touring the facility with their boss for their annual review. I was sorely tempted to walk up and hand them an evelope full of money and say "there, that makes us square for the month, call off your goons". And walk away while their boss was standing there. But the last thing I need is the only guys that can let me in my storage area mad at me. (plus I wasn't holding enough cash to fill an envelope).

[spizio]

You should have taken the time to explain the subtleties of letting potential victims escape.

[salamanca]

Pringles have released their holiday flavors. White chocolate. And pecan pie. I have done you all a favor and sampled them this evening. Do yourself a favor buy some and send them to your worst enemy. Chips are not meant to be sugary sweet. Your first thought will be "i don't know how I feel about these". Then you will realizew the taste is stuck in your mouth and you are not happy about it.

[salamanca]

Today's lesson:. If any of you EVER take a retail job (and more specific, a seasonal retail job) you had better expect to be scheduled to work during the weekend following Thanksgiving. Do not think that your employer will be accepting of the concept that you are instead taking 5 days to go to Michigan with your mother. (even less if you are 30). Do NOT buy yourself theater tickets for that Friday night and expect to be free. DO NOT TELL YOUR BOSS YOU CAN'T WORK BECAUSE YOU WILL BE TOO TIRED AFTER SHOPPING. Do not tell your boss you want that weekend off because you "dislike" dealing with the crowded parking lot. Your boss will NOT be sypathetic and you will be getting far fewer shifts in the future. (as in when everyone else has died and you are the last living employee).

[salamanca]

The oldies station in town played Twisted Sister this morning... I reckon the Beatles are now TOO old to play. (granted the song now does fall in their 30 years and older range but there is the issue of quality)

[spizio]

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!"

WKRP Quiz

[Black Jack Rackham]

Took it last night, got 100%

[salamanca]

So I had two guys browsing today (who eventually returned to buy the Risk Halo edition) they are about to leave when one grabs the other buy the arm and shout, "WAIT!. DIRTY CALENDARS!". He heads toward the swimsuit calendars then abruptly turns and picks up the JEEP: Offroading calendar. Turns out he literally meant mud.

[salamanca]

Ok, I am asking.all of you to avoid shopping at JC Penney this season. Not only did their decision to open on Thanksgiving at 8pm force the mall to follow suit but tonight they closed AN HOUR early to set their store for the sale. This decision was not posted and stranded many shoppers who had parked outside the store and could not exit to their cars. (and with our mall in the middle of building a new anchor store, there is no easy way to reach that parking area). So I call "bad form" and wish them ill this season.

[kenderleech]

The oldies station in town played Twisted Sister this morning... I reckon the Beatles are now TOO old to play. (granted the song now does fall in their 30 years and older range but there is the issue of quality)

"And now back to the classic rock.. With some Pearl Jam"


I about cried.

[salamanca]

Yeah, but Pearl Jam always sounded like an old band that had been around forever. Kind of like that kid you went to high school with that was already going bald before he had a driver's liscence. I'm pretty sure they were really an early 70's arena rock band that just took a couple decades to get noticed.

[Rebecca Iavelli]

So Dave, did you have any mall fights break out at your mall? Was just reading about the one that happened in Philly, where one woman took a stun gun to another, during Black Friday. Don't know if any happened around here as I stayed home and relaxed today, instead of fighting the crowds.

http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/11/29/21678849-women-get-into-black-friday-stun-gun-fight-inside-the-mall?lite

[smafdi]

I did the same, stayed home and took a nap, watched some Twisted (new starkid play about the REAL story of jafar) avoided the crowds 100%. Looking forward to dave's after black friday story time though.

[salamanca]

It was a pretty placid day. No feedback about the 8pm and overnight as I worked 7am-4:30 today. It was busy but not hectic and everyone was very polite. Had an old lady ask for a "board game with Bon Jovi in it" but that was the peak of weird. There were some boss issues (my suspected details later) and some sales oddities. Our get a Lang brand calendar for 30% off and then have the option for a calendar of your choice at 30% off for buying that Lang calendar seemed to backfire as I had exactly 2 customers take us up on that today. (maybe 8 other bought just a Lang but refused the second item). Several folks assumed that our board game shelves that contained a sign reading "friday only Pictionary 66% off. now $9.99" meant everything was $9.99. But nobody got huffy about it. One guy decided the sale on the Party Gras game was such a good deal at $4.99 each that he didn't care if the game was good or fun because it was a good price and bought 3 copies. And 22 people asked for Cards Against Humanity.

[salamanca]

Overheard a mother talking to her daughter sunday as they passed. "Well, now you know. Sometimes daddy wears women's shoes.". Took all I had to keep a straight face and ignore that one. Had to pull a product today. The boss and his little helicopter obsession has reached the point that he brought another version over from his other mall and took up valuable shelf space to display them (enough room for two quality games). He brought 4 helicopters that had been returned because they do not work and had been written on in bold marker "damaged". We had a long chat about quality of product and store reputation this evening. I draw the line at broken toys. Corporate dropped a new item on me that is also never finding a shelf. It's a card game called "Dung Deck" I have no idea what it does but the cards feature photos of animal dropping and stats on their size and consistency. I have a pretty high "ick factor" but nothing about that is appealing.

[Black Jack Rackham]

...a card game called "Dung Deck"...

Well that's just BEGGING for me to look it up. Here you go. I cannot imagine a more rednecky game. Will you grab me a set (as a joke of course)?

[salamanca]

Did you watch the video?. If you want a set to taunt folks with, I will put one in the hold for the post x-mas sale barrel in the secret compartment of the storeroom.

[salamanca]

Actual conversation today:. Guy walks up in his late 20's. "Hi, I'm looking for a game I can play with my friends.". Ok, sir what are you all interested in?". (i'm gesturing at the shelves to suggest what type of game. Strategy, trivia, party, cards, etc). He replies, "We are all microbiologists!" .... "OK, this is a game called Pandemic.". Easiest sales pitch ever.

[Rebecca Iavelli]

LOL, awesome game too, I love the challenge, but in all the times we have played it, we have never won it. (Came close a couple of times, but that only counts in horseshoes!)
I wonder if they will?

[Black Jack Rackham]

I quoted your story to Jenny last night, Dave? And when I got to, "There is this game called..." She said "Pandemic" before I could.

[smafdi]

Great story dave.
On the subject of winning, if you're playing with only 4 infections it's not too hard to win, especially if you choose your roles. Last time we played we were at probably ~60% win rate with random roles, there is some planning but alot of luck, and a healthy dose of "heart of the cards", without feeling totally unfair. Just marginally unfair.

[salamanca]

must remember to remove Lorraine from my friend list. she is a manager at a store where one of my lackeys works year round. She scheduled the employee every day next week overlapping the shift change so I cannot use this employee at all.

back to that alleged story from Black Friday and the Boss.

By now, everybody has read reports on how well stores did in sales by opening at 8PM. it's looking like a good move for the stores even if it's lousy for the staff. The downside is that people still go to bed in the early morning hours. So over at our mall, we opened at 8 and people showed up and shopped until just after 1am strongly. Then it got real, real quiet until around 7 am when people started milling around again and it got busy around 8:30 and stayed that way until after 6pm. (no idea how we talk them into opening for 5 hours and closing again until morning but I am working on it.)

So the Boss... I volunteered to take the hit and do the overnight run and reopen in the morning as we were very certain traffic would not warrant being there between 1 and 7 am. But he insisted he had his son and brother-in-law (who does not speak english) to help out and did not need me. I told him to call me if anybody had a change of plans. THEN I CALLED HIM an hour before opening to make sure he did not need help. I called him again an hour after opening to see if he wanted a hand. Both times he turned me down. But told me everybody was on hand and sales were pretty good. He called me back at 10:30 to tell me his plans about the extra money from sales and his thoughts on closing registers.

I later found out that none of those calls took place inside the mall.

He went there alone (no son, no brother-in-law) and turned on the register at our north end kiosk without taking down the tarp around 8:15pm. Some eager people caught him there and forced him to make 6 sales.

Then he waltzed down to the main kiosk and untarped the shops where he stayed until 8:45 before closing back up and going home. He was averaging a sale every minute and he decided to close up after 25 minutes.

Then he has the nerve to call me at 7 am and tell me how he was there until midnight and the numbers were not good. (and to tell me he was going to be in a couple hours later than planned as he was tired) He does all this without even considering that I talk to every store around us and check on things like traffic. (let alone that 3 employees were up there shopping)

We missed our sales goal by the overnight sales from last year. The money he did not stay to earn.