the Strangeness that is my life

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby daundelyon » Sat Sep 21, 2019 11:22 am

*looks up GovDeals.com* OK, I'm curious about what someone was going to do with 51 rosaries.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 22, 2019 7:15 am

I would venture they were not from one source but it could have been a street "vendor" selling stuff out of his coat.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 22, 2019 8:27 am

So, that geek con that went belly up last year? Well, the replacement took place yesterday.

Some guys I think are pretty cool cats decided that a con couldn't be that hard and put it together. So here are the highlights and lowlights from yesterday.

Good Stuff:

It was a 12 minute drive to get there. Local always is a win.

It had a lot of tables with people hand crafting stuff for geeky fandoms.

Creative patrons wearing creative handmade costumes.

Somebody Dressed as Janet from "The Good Place".

I knew a lot of people there.

I got this really cool Fantastic Four satchel made of leather that looks like somebody skinned Ben Grimm.

They had a tattoo artist and he was offering a selection of small geeky images for $40 each.

I had a great dinner after where our very drunk friend was very entertaining.

The not so good:

They split the con between two buildings two blocks apart.

This town has terrible traffic timing on the intervening intersections.

One of those building had no AC.

All the panels and events were in a small room in the building with AC but it had narrow stairway access so costumed folks and handicapped people were not having an easy time of it.

Their MC still hasn't learned to speak clearly into a microphone.

They had two raffles. One for a hand built, full sized R2D2. The other was a 50/50. Neither had a sign or announcement made for them.

It was 87 degrees. The poor dude dressed as Chewbacca might have evaporated.

3 comic vendors at a comic convention. And one of them only had Batman and Amazing Spiderman books.

I had a lot of friends with booths that I would love to support but I don't have any use for yarn pokeballs, canvas purses, and mugs with vinyl decals of Doctor Who logos. My pals all got talent but no single guy stuff.

And something that just is:

There is a local writers group that formed here and they are producing pamphlets of their work under a group name and it is AWFUL.

By AWFUL, I mean... Ashtabula Writers of Fantastic & Uncanny Literature. Yeah, the acronym is AWFUL. They call themselves AWFUL writers.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Sun Sep 22, 2019 8:57 am

So...what did you get a tattoo of? ;)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 22, 2019 11:13 am

I don't do ink. If I did, it would be from a more talented artist.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby daundelyon » Thu Oct 24, 2019 6:19 pm

Sam and I went to Comic Con on Sunday because I wanted to see Cary Elwes and Wallace Shawn. I decided to wear a shirt with a picture of Andre the Giant with the caption of "I'm on the brute squad."
I have had this shirt for 20+ years. Only on Sunday did I glance down and realize, it was misspelled as "brut".


But wait, there's more!

While getting an autograph from Mr. Elwes, I laughingly pointed this out. Before I could blink, he grabbed a marker...
And corrected my shirt!
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:02 pm

As you wish.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Nov 03, 2019 9:19 am

Just so most of you feel better:

I woke this morning to a world completely covered in snow. That is right, the Lake Erie snow belt dropped a good half inch on my land this morning. That is better than the 3-5 that was predicted.

But Dave has snow, remember that while you watch it rain or go out and take your leaves.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Feb 18, 2020 9:10 pm

So i was up at the local "quick fire, choose your toppings" pizza place tonight and noticed the car parked in front of me.

It leads to this question...

If you have made enough money to afford to buy a Porsche and you spend it on the Porsche SUV, was it really worth the effort?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Apr 03, 2020 4:54 pm

If you have not filled out your Census, please take note of something kind of odd.

When they ask you to list date of birth, there are standard option windows for month, day and year. Take a moment and scroll down on year to see how far back it goes.

Then think about the fact that the official oldest person alive is a Japanese lady born in 1903.

Then explain to me why the drop down window covers what it does.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat May 16, 2020 12:03 pm

Just noticed something...those of you browsing on your smart phone can play along.

I reach out with my thumb to tap the login button on this site's Board Index page and my big clumbsy thumb instead hits the spot just below that lists the current time.

At the bottom of my screen the helpful AI posts a definition of "AM" or "PM" depending on what is showing.

It appears the phone has no idea how time works. The only definitions are for "Amplitude Magnification" as in AM Radio and "Personal Message" as in the private aside notes one sends on a message board.

Smartphone is not so smart.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon May 18, 2020 9:59 am

So the battle of the printers continues...

I need to make some signs to post for the job thanks to covid. Turns out these signs are the well, how about I just paste what they want me to type up.

Post information throughout the golf course property
to remind golfers and customers to take steps to prevent the spread of COVID-19. These messages should
include information about:
• Staying home if you are sick or do not feel well.
• Using social distancing and maintaining 6-feet or more
between individuals in all areas.
• Not gathering in groups.
• Golfers should not loiter.
• Wearing a mask or face covering when entering buildings
or interacting in close proximity to other golfers, practicing
good personal hygiene including washing hands often with
soap and water for at least 20 seconds, using hand
sanitizer, refraining from touching eyes, nose, and mouth
with unwashed hands, coughing and sneezing into an
elbow, etc.

Would it have not been easier to just create the damn sign they want and give you a PDF to print out and post? Half of it needs to be rewritten into an instruction. and all of it is in the category of glaze over and ignore.

then there is another page worth of stuff actually related to what players can and cannot do right now that this stuff will encourage them to ignore.

but that has nothing to do with the printer issues.
the printer at the golf course has apparently decided to leave no forwarding address. The computer simply cannot find it in the active directory. And if it cannot find it, it cannot figure out what to fix in order to find it. so it is totally useless.

meanwhile, my home computer has logjammed itself with old print queue orders that are from over two years ago and refuses to clear them. No idea what is up with that but it is obviously something in the laptop that uninstalling and reinstalling should have fixed. but noooooooo, they crop right back up.

So on to plan B... go buy a new one and share it. Nobody has a printer in stock in my corner of
Ohio. apparently every parent on earth decided to buy a new one to work from home and homeschool.

So it is time for PLAN C! Drag my printer into work, hook it upo and see if it can find that computer.

Plan C works! it took an hour of upgrading software for the printer because HP can't decide if it is using straight software or an app store software for this model and troubleshooting it having a reluctance to start without all the trouble lights flashing but it works!

and it is out of ink...

I printed way too much gaming stuff this winter...

Aside note...
Amazon Alexa services have been calling with a nonstop automated call trying to get us to sign up on their service. Aside from the fact that I don't care to be involved with that, the prompt is great. The robovoice suggests that when someone says, "Alexa who has good plumbing services, my information will not be shared unless i join up". I am pretty sure if someone asks Alexa for a plumber and they get info for a golf course, the user is going to be less than happy.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun May 31, 2020 11:08 am

So i texted Ken this morning and after some banter and exchange of masked photos. He ended with a text telling me,

"It's going to be a greeeaaaat day!"

That text arrived while i was cleaning the restroom at work.

How does he know these things?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Mon Jun 01, 2020 6:12 am

I want you to know Dave, but I wasn't wrong, I was just early. My store was a target of opportunity for a burglary last night. So I've been at work since before 2 a.m. because two people decided that while all the police were busy they were going to pry open the door to my store and try and get in my safe. They failed but it's still going to cost me $14,000 to fix
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Jun 01, 2020 6:45 am

Yep, people suck.

But now i have an image of Ken in my head, geared up like the cast of Hot Fuzz, ready to take on whoever is fool enough to cross him. (Including the aviator glasses and toothpick, because the toothpick freaks Mark out)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:00 pm

salamanca wrote:the aviator glasses and toothpick

Image
Gaston gets me.

Ken, two things.

1) your pm the other day made me smile, a lot!
2) I agree with Dave, people suck.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Mon Jun 01, 2020 4:02 pm

salamanca wrote:But now i have an image of Ken in my head, geared up like the cast of Hot Fuzz, ready to take on whoever is fool enough to cross him. (Including the aviator glasses and toothpick, because the toothpick freaks Mark out)




You mean my larp gear plus a tac vest? If i could get a tac vest that fit, maybe.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby daundelyon » Mon Jun 01, 2020 7:35 pm

kenderleech wrote:
salamanca wrote:But now i have an image of Ken in my head, geared up like the cast of Hot Fuzz, ready to take on whoever is fool enough to cross him. (Including the aviator glasses and toothpick, because the toothpick freaks Mark out)




You mean my larp gear plus a tac vest? If i could get a tac vest that fit, maybe.


The crossbow certainly makes an impression.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 02, 2020 8:46 am

Actually, if we put Ken in a spanish peaked breastplate, he would look a lot like Cortez, the villain from "The Road to El Dorado".
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:42 am

So, 76 years ago, at right around the hour i am writing this, my granddad was touring a beqch in France with a bunch of his buddies. (And i am accounting for the time zone difference with this, artillery units were not early waves)

His brother was somewhere up yhe beach and had been laying in the sand and soaking up the sun for about 5 hours at this point.

Like most 21 year olds, this was a "trip with the boys" and there wasn't a woman in sight. And, like most trips out with the boys, it wasn't something they talked about much after. This was the start of a Grand Adventure across the countryside of western Europe for a year long tour before they returned home, got jobs and settled down. What kids today would call a "Gap Year".

There was a lot of camping, cheap food, drinking, reckless behavior, property damage and probably some carousing going on during that year. It wasnt a trip they wanted to make, it was one the HAD to take. Not just because they were ordered to do so or because the world needed them to go, but because staying home would have been worse than anything they faced.

After spending about a year on a walking tour of Europe, my granddad and his brother both went home, got jobs, had more kids, got different jobs in a different state, had even more kids, and enjoyed regular, average lives. No more sleeping in a hole through the winter, no more stuff exploding around them. It never left their thoughts completely. My granddad certainly had some issues with what he had seen and done. His brother had a lot of problems with it.

There are very few guys left that were there. Even my living Grandpa spent D-day in a training camp in Iowa. With everything going on today, they need a thank you less than they need a phone call just to check in on them and a chance to just socialize a bit.

Just don't, under any circumstances, invite them to go to the beach.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:31 pm

Had a guy golf today who has become a regular this spring. He is new to golf and let us politely call him quirky.

First thing he asks is if anybody turned in the clubs he lost 3 days ago (it was 4 days ago but why nit pick). Nobody had but we often have guys stick them in their own bags and forget to turn them in so it may come back in a week or two.

He is put out but still going to play. But he is determined to not lose more clubs today. (To date he has lost 2 clubs and forgotten 3 club covers, his phone twice, wallet once and keys once... see a trend? It is called medical marijuana)

So today he is taking a stand and not losing any clubs. So he left his golf bag and clubs at home!

How will he play with no clubs? A-ha! He has brought 2 reserve clubs which he will carry in hand so as to keep them all.

Wait for it...

He lost one of them on the second hole. The guys behind him picked it up and turned it in.

He gets done. Proudly declaring the round a success. I ask if he is missing a club and he tells me he has both of them. I point out that he is only holding one. I see the look on his face one normally sees when you do the "remove me thumb" trick on a very small child. His buddy just shakes his head.

I can't believe we let this guy drive.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Jun 07, 2020 9:41 pm

And then the weird guy showed up...

He gets there around 5 and is worried it is too late to play (4 hours to sunset, you will be fine) then he freaks out his playing partner is not there (because he was told 5:30)

In the meantime, he tells me the woefully inept tale of his morning when he tried to help jos sister cut down a tree. His sister and the tree are fine because this guy ruined his chainsaw by filling the fuel tank with bar oil and the bar oil resvoir with gasoline. It appears he fixed it at home after realizing the mistake by washing it out (oil and water...you know the rest) and filling it with straight gasoline. Fun fact: the model in question requires a mix of gas and 2 cycle engine oil or you will destroy it in plumes of white smoke as the cylinder melts.

Yeah, white smoke is his next description...

His buddy shows, they play, they stand around the parking lot and talk, he leaves...almost.

On the way out the drive, he short turns the exit to the road and drives his pickup truck right over the mailbox. He hops out, moves the box aside, pushes the post back "upright" to a 45 degree angle gets in his truck and drives off before i get out the door to deal with it.

2 minutes later he calls to fess up and offer to fix it in the morning.

Having heard the chainsaw story and witnessed his driving, i declined the offer. Last thing i need is that industrial accident on the insurance.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 09, 2020 8:41 am

And the local renn faire wins again!

If it can be done the wrong way, this outfit is committed to finding that path.

I was checking in last week with our favorite leather crafter, and he told me that the word from management was that there would be a season even if the Governor did not reopen Theme Parks by then.

The workaround was that the faire would claim they were "just open as a wedding venue" and all those poeple that bought a ticket were invited wedding guests of the couple.

Granted, they have always held weddings and vow renewals onsite during the event. But I have doubts to the plausibility of all the vendors being open at this "just a wedding". Then there is the classic question of "Do I need to buy a ticket or can i just bring the couple a toaster?" Odds are they need you to nuy a ticket AND expect a gift too.

And then what happens if you have a day that nobody wants to get married at your renn faire? Does management demand a couple members of their volunteer cast bite the bullet and tie the knot? It would have to be a legit wedding if someone starts asking questions.

But, the Governor cleared parks to open so it is a moot point.

On to a cast plot theme... The Vikings are arriving! So we are either running a pillaging plot or an immigration plot... well, at least the evil Sheriff is not attacking the innocent villagers this year.

On to Theme Weekend announcements.
-Heroes weekend, check. Wait, double-checks...honoring law enforcement and first responders...this could be a good or bad idea...
-Pirate weekend, check. A stale check.
-Celtic Weekend, check.
-Time Travel, alternate reality weekend ( because the owner cannot comprehend the word "steampunk"), check.
-Roman Holiday (it's not going to be an orgy, it's a toga party), check.
-Fantasy weekend, Bueller, Bueller Bueller? Nope, not here.

So what is the opening week 1 theme?

Lady Godiva weekend? Nope!
Barbarian Invasion? Nope!
French Revolution? Thankfully not.

So...

Wait, seriously?

Let me quote it for you...

"Week One: The Plague. Bring your masks"

You are running an entertainment plague theme during a pandemic?

Tasteless.

I think i am suddenly busy with work during the run.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby CaitlinCallahan » Tue Jun 09, 2020 2:36 pm

salamanca wrote:
So what is the opening week 1 theme?

Lady Godiva weekend? Nope!
Barbarian Invasion? Nope!
French Revolution? Thankfully not.

So...

Wait, seriously?

Let me quote it for you...

"Week One: The Plague. Bring your masks"

You are running an entertainment plague theme during a pandemic?

Tasteless.

I think i am suddenly busy with work during the run.


Wow....I'm just....wow......
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 09, 2020 3:08 pm

Their facebook page apparently started getting strong opinions last night. Several stalwart regulars are promising to never return if it happens.

Absolutely tone deaf.

I get the aim was probably to encourage mask wearing in an area of the state where most people are refusing to do so for political reasons. But it is the wrong way to go about it.
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