the Strangeness that is my life

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the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Aug 17, 2011 9:54 pm

This thread is for whatever weird thing happened to me (or you) that just doesn't fit elsewhere or need it's own thread. So, after work today, i'm out with the parents for a quick and late dinner and we stop at the grocery for whatever Mom decided she needed. This guy walks out of the store with a birthday cake and peoceeds to light the candles in the store exit. He then fails repeatedly to carry the lit cake across the parking lot due to the light breeze. He is trying everything: walking backwards, holding his shirt out, holding a bag up, he even half tried to stick it under his shirt. He finally creeps it out to the car, mostly lit for his wife. Awesome romantic gesture... She yells at him for taking so long in the store. My dad and I get out of the car and applaud him.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Aug 17, 2011 10:05 pm

Lost in his own museum, you say... I also got lost in my own backyard today. Yeah, Mr. Direction got lost in his own yard. (well, forest). We recently had a timber crew come in and log out the area they are installing that infernal powerline. The loggers were a bit exuberant and pretty much mauled the back 10 acres leaving behind the upper half of each tree as well as anything rotted in the center as there is no profit in that stuff. The whole area has been uprooted, crashed through by their bulldozer and piled with fallen limbs in the least organized manner possible. I had not had a chance before today to go see what exactly they took, left and trashed. (the answer to all those is "a lot"). Anyhow, I crossed to the far back corner (they also logged the neighbor) and after climbing over some timber failed to locate the common trail that is on the property line. I got myself turned around 3 times looking for certain landmarks (like property and power line markers) only to find they buried them in debris or just ran them over. I am a very unhappy camper and will need to be making some calls about their unfinished clean up.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Aug 20, 2011 12:41 pm

Thursday 8-18... I stopped by the mall to pick up a tuxedo (details in the next post). My friend Joy was tagging along and indulged herself in primping the suit during the try it on before you go to the event. The clerk, trying to make conversation, totally embarrasses himself by assuming we are a couple and she gave him a scathing hassle about it. She also offered to rent me a vest for the outfit in the couple's rival school colors (which I had been threatening to do). I foolishly declined in a rare moment of respect for my friends Bill and Steph. Then I dropped by the mall office to check on the upcoming season. Turns out that was the strange and important part... My boss failed to mention we are opening a storefront in addition the the kiosks. (which means I need to hire 4 more bodies). No reason for a manager to know about that detail... The boss called me again today expecting me to drop everything at work and meet him at the mall to look over the mall remodel construction (not going to happen) and again failed to mention this detail. I now wonder who will be working this store.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Aug 20, 2011 4:25 pm

So yesterday I got to participate in my friends wediing. Steph and Bill had perfect weather, a great location with a wonderful staff, a very patient and helpful photographer, and a Dave to fix all those last minute emergencies. We didi most of the photos early at a couple nice sites around town (and crossed paths with a rival wedding party that challenged us to football), we gave the groom's cousin a crash course in how to wear a tux and not look like a sloppy kid, and had a great time. Right until it was time to leave... The limo company failed to send a car to pick up the party to return to their hotel (and cars). The family had all left, the freinds were gone except for a couple of hammered co-workers driving trucks. And that was the point where everybody finally understood why I insisted on not riding in the very crowded limo to the party center. The other sober groomsman and I got a little shuttle service going and everybody got where they needed to go. The groom's grandma called me a very nice young boy and the happy couple is on their way to live happily ever after.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun Aug 21, 2011 11:59 am

I just spent a week camping in an RV in Maine at a campground run by a company called (and I am not making this up) NASCAR RV PARKS. There I was innundated by the face of Danica Patrick warning me of the dangers of COPD everywhere (and yes that would include the inside of the men's restrooms). I learned that it IS possible for a 6'+ tall man to take a shower in a stall that is only 5'6" tall and measures 3'6" by 3' even if the drain plug is so congealed with previous inhabitants' hair as to allow the shower to be on for only 37 seconds before it overflows. It does, however, help if said man is willing to make use of whatever temperature water comes out of the shower head rather than waiting for it to 'warm up'

Maine, btw is filled with old fogies who either cannot or will not push their vehicles all the way up to the speed limit for fear of opening a rent in the time/space continuum, especially if said speed limit is anything over 35 mph.

In addition, old-fogey-dom means that there is a dearth of anything even remotely interesting to a gamer (the nearest comic book store being an hour and twenty minutes north, while the nearest gaming store is about the same west) but a veritable plethora of stores selling (as my wife likes to call it) "dead people furniture"

But we did climb Mt. Magunticook, walk out on the breakwater near Rockland, and play in the Camden Library. (Thus allowing said wife to spend some alone time with her father) So all in all, it was a good trip.

Mark
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Sun Aug 21, 2011 4:14 pm

Ah, Maine...the nightmares that place gave me because EVERY [MEEP]ING SUMMER we went to the SAME DAMN CAMPSITE (Hermit Island) where I was attacked by greenflies and mosquitoes, had to walk a half-mile to the outhouse, frigid oceans, frigid showers, sunburn and overall UTTER BOREDOM! :evil:

Yeah, I'm not a camper...
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Aug 21, 2011 5:22 pm

Danica Patrick is welcome to drop by anytime and warn me about whatever she wants. I will likely ignore the warning and ask "who the hell are you?". I don't camp. It's like being intentionally homeless. I' gonna add a little more strangeness from me. Yesterday, dropped the tux back at the rental place in the mall. I was flagged down by the Bride's staff who had all attended the wedding also. Shared the limo story and found out the register had broken down and the owner was not answering his phone. On top of that the help line for it had no suggestions (i'm guessing it's dust from the remodel). I helped them drag out the old one from storage and saved them from calling the manager on her honeymoon. Then this morning I woke up to discover a flash flood had wiped out all the footbridges on the course. We were closed all day and I spent the entire time splashing around in overflowing creeks rebuilding things. It took us 9 hours but they are in place and functioning. Tomorrow we fix the least wrecked one properly (we rushed it this morning to get to the worst ones). It also means we lost all business on a scheduled event day which is distressing but part of the business. I also checked on a car for sale... Apparently in Ohio, 182k miles is something you can call "low milage" in the classifieds. (and it was a 2003 model year no less). I will be looking elsewhere, thank you.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Mon Aug 22, 2011 10:19 am

Bummer on the car. It has more milage than mine, and mines a 1998 model.

Would love to see a picture of you in the tux (sigh).
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Aug 22, 2011 4:31 pm

I cannot release any photos. I took none as my phone was left in the car to avoid awkward ringing or glowing during the day. Plus I always look good in formal wear so I am pretty sure the wedding album may require a warning label. I spent the day sitting under a footbridge and tossing around rocks, so nothing strange has happened today.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Klcp » Thu Aug 25, 2011 2:40 am

The first few days of school has been a bit...trying...if not strange:
Monday: Found out my Spanish teacher is head-over-heels in love with Enrique Iglesias, sat in Phisics with half the class being the same as last year...except for a much more intense, frustrated, and hyperactive teacher named Fazz (shortened), and invited somewhere between 50 and 75 college students to a pizza party that my college ministry is hosting this Friday. I don't think I've ever talked to that many people in one day before.

Tuesday: Barely make it to the school in the rain on time for my first class...and spend a half hour looking for a parking spot and only got to class 20 minutes before it ended, on top of that, it was Spanish 1 and neither the "estudiantes" nor the "professora" are allowed to speak any "ingles" so I couldn't even explain why I was so late and soaking wet. At that point, the mile walk to the other side of campus for my Physics class didn't matter (I'm fairly certain the fact that I was completely soaked through may have had something to do with the humidity in the classroom thus resulting in the static electricity demos not working). Randomly, last minute (not prompted at all by my failure to catch Kaitlynn-aka-giggles), decided to take a spinning class which makes it extremely painful to sit down (after only about 25 min on the bike, might I add) and causes me to walk into Calculus sweaty and smelly. Fun.

Today: While I was waiting for the crosswalk sign to say go, I turned around and invited about 30 or so people to that pizza party (most of which gave me confused and dirty looks) and got into a debate with my minister about gamers (he avoids where they hang out because they're "mean and wear costumes" and advises any of the girls in our ministry to stay away from there). I promptly marched down, invited the whole "gamer lounge" to the pizza party, and marched back with a grin on my face. "Don't insult my people."

We'll see how that spinning class goes tomorrow. #killmenow
"You can't trust the weather and you can't trust the sea. Who can you trust, my friend if you can't trust me?"
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:52 pm

I talk to at least that many people every day. I see nobody taught you the secret of phys ed classes in college... Archery, bowling, and croquet. Anything else requires gap time so you can shower. Mega bonus points on the gamer invite. Two of the better GMs I played with were a Prebyterian minister and a Baptist deacon. So your campus holy guy can stuff his prejudice. As long as your Spanish instructor is not a crazy asian man you should be ok. Do learn a single sentence excuse for all occassions. I recommend "i was detained at the border", "the amish stole my lawn chairs" or "it falls under the don't ask, don't tell policy". Learn those in spanish and you will soon not be asked to explain.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Aug 26, 2011 10:07 pm

So, with all the rain that Kara keeps forgetting to keep in Chicago landing here lately, it's been a swell week. We lost all business on Sunday (including our big monthly event), i've rebuilt 4 footbridges (one twice as the rain returned with a vengeance) had several customers drive over those half complete bridges while I was under them hoping I did a good job with the temporary foundations. AND it was soggy enough that we had to skip routine work yesterday and make it up today. Add that to knowing my favorite newlyweds are currently in a cruise ship in a hurricane path and my oldest friend was hospitalized with a life threatening condition that killed someone I knew last year and it's been a fun week. This afternoon, one of my regulaer customers decided to drop a second ball where I could not see him and nearly knocked me off my tractor with the shot. He then stopped me to point out that I look a little stressed out and should relax on my weekend off. No hint of an apology and he knows I work 7 days a week. Stay in school kids, I did.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Fri Aug 26, 2011 11:00 pm

(((Hugs!!))) You seem like you need one. Hope you dry out soon enough. Meanwhile, it's Marks and my turn to get soggy soon.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:23 am

I am just jonesing to go stand outside during the worst of the storm (to say I did it)...

Mark
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Aug 27, 2011 8:46 am

Clear that with the wife first and use the door pointing away from the wind. You don't want to invite the storm inside and your better half may have issues with you trudging back in soaked through the skin. Side note:. The high school held it's opening season home game last night... On a field in a town 30 miles away. Turns out they hired a landscaping company to topdress the field with soil this summer (to fill holes and create better plant growth). The company in question did the work using soil full of broken glass. While clean up is under way, it will be a few weeks before it is safe to play on.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:20 pm

so, sunday i attended the smallest renn faire on earth. It is based at a collective of craft and art galleries in the middle of amish country to benefit the fire department.

They had one clothing vendor (a friend of mine that is doing all my garb now), a blacksmith, a chainmail jewelry vendor, a soap seller, and the pirate encampment of 4 pirates. (and a trailer selling hotdogs) One professional troubadour, two singing acts that would like to get hired someplace someday, one we are working on a comedy act and... nope that was it. 4 guys in garb, 15 women in garb 20 of the regulars at our local faire in civilian clothing and a lot of sitting around catching up. the highlight of entertainment may have been the chinese auction. I really hope this thing catches on, it's a low key event that could be fun if we could just drag a few more bodies out.

the fun of the day was watching the amish ride by in their buggies and commenting on their weird, fancy modern clothing.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:32 pm

So, I have this cousin who has managed to get half her kids out of the house and away to college. This has given her extra free time at home so she is compiling a book (booklet, info packet, whatever) about the family history. (said cousin is also a sender of holiday form letter updates). So we all got a letter about this asking for a couple of memories about spending time together (holidays, time at Grandma's, picnics, etc.) and asking for 3 recipes we have "traditionally" (i would say habitually) brought for meals at said events. At this point, I should mention my grandparents had 6 kids and 8 grandchildren. There are currently 10 women at any given event and 9 of them like to cook...Excessive quantities of food. I volunteered to bake all the christmas cookies one year and was flat out told not to bother as my 3 aunts had already baked 16 dozen and planned on another 10 that last week. I'm one of the better bakers in the family and a more than passable cook but there is already too much food at any given gathering. So i'm at a loss what to toss them for recipes. Then yesterday we figured it out. I was at my aunt's with another cousin, my sister and parents and we got the perfect plan. ALL OF US are sending her the same 3 recipes and family memories on the same day.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun Sep 18, 2011 11:41 pm

I too am the cook in my household.* But I don't do things via recipe. Or I should say via recipe that's written down. I just futz in my head, a little of this, a little more of that, ok taste. Nope still not right, need to add a bit more...

Mark

*I am a firm believer that the adage "A way to a man's heart is through his stomach." is completely wrong. See the truth is, most men, if they find a woman who can cook, well so what? It's expected. But if a woman finds a man who can cook? Now that's special. So it should be "The way to a woman's heart is through her stomach." It helped me snag my wife.
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Mon Sep 19, 2011 7:15 am

For such a man, even a picky woman would eat her vegetables, just to please him. (sigh, still might have problems with brussel sprouts, broccoli, and cauliflower though. :P :roll: )
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:48 pm

The way to a man's heart is through the rib cage. Didn't anybody watch "Temple of Doom"?. Women really don't care if you cook, Mark. What turns them on is if you clean. Pick a day she isn't home and vacuum, mop, dust and straighten up the joint. Then do the dishes and see what comes of it.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:49 pm

Hey hey hey now lets not go CRAZY here...
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Rebecca Iavelli » Tue Sep 20, 2011 4:38 am

Dave, you truly are The Wise One. :D
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:22 pm

Not me, I just pass along the information. My friend's wife is the one that keeps encouraging him to indulge in "chore-play" as she calls it. I only clean something if I need it.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Sep 20, 2011 11:33 pm

So it's time to set up the boss' store at the other mall again. I swear that mall does not have a single 90 degree corner in it. (not to mention the boss was less than accurate with following the layout so certain shelves angle too close together). To make matters worse it used to be a sony audio store so it's filled with built in curved walls and nooks that just waste space. But this is what I have learned in two evenings of stocking shelves. If you are opening a new store put the incomming merchandise on the giant shelving in the store room and sort it by type (calendars, toys, and games in this case). Then take all the empty shelving boxes and stuff them in the giant space in the center of the store that corporate decided not to use. DO NOT DO THE OPPOSITE!. Your employees will hate you if they need to dig through 8 foot high piles of boxes tightly packed next to each otherand randomly mixed together. Regardless, the game section is finished to specifications (except for the stuff they did not send us) as usual, there is a hundred things I would switch but it's not my store.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Oct 30, 2011 1:13 am

Lots of strange since my last update, most of it not worth retelling. This week, however, included an invite from an ex to attend some halloween bash at a club sponsered by a radio station. So, I happen to be free, why not attend. The club, which she has never heard of happens to by on the site of what was once my favorite book store in an old movie theater. It now has a huge bar with enormous projection screens (think theater sized) and a vast array of arcade games. So here I am in a place full of video games I don't care about filled with TVs showing the Ohio State football game and blasting dance music. And before we forget, it's a halloween bash so most of the crowd is wearing crappy costumes. (seriously, look in the mirror folks. The slutty nurse outfit is NOT one-size-fits-all.). Personally, I was rooting for the guy in the Iron Man suit made of cardboard covered in red and gold duct tape. He came in second... To a store bought costume. Lest I forget a key element, there was also a band playing 80's covers. Nobody should medley "we got the beat" by the GoGo's with "I Ran" by flock of seagulls. They called themselves "the spazmatics". It was a fitting name. Special mention to the group that dressed as the ZOMBIE cast of Gilligan's Island. That made the night worth it.
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