the Strangeness that is my life

[salamanca]

Before you ask about my choice of costume... I went as a middle aged man asked to tag along at the last minute that doesn't care about any contests taking place.

[salamanca]

ok, so the boss decided we needed to open a Calendar Store in the mall in addition to the kiosk. He has a combination store in the other mall and loves the fact that they get all the money and only pay one employee (despite the layout really needing 2 to keep an eye on things and handle stock)

So this other mall has a store that I will admit is three times the size of ours and contains calendars, games and toys. He had 2 weeks to set it up and employed 13 people to build that store (including me. I spent 2 days there assembling the games section)

Our store, he gave me 4 days and no staff to build it. Our corporate office failed to provide a correct layout plan until 2 pm tuesday and we opened thursday morning. So I stocked an 1,200 square foot store in two days. I have decided to declare myself a merchandizing beast. Now we wait and see how corporate feels about the layout after photo review.

[salamanca]

well, it's that dreaded week for retail staff... Black Friday quickly approaches and the boss... well he is on doctor ordered rest for a knee injury he has been ignoring since early september. So I have no manager or keyholder level relief for the week. He has been sending along his son who needs walking through every step and really can't handle everything but at least he's filling time. No idea if the boss will be back for the weekend or if I will be doing a pair of 16 hour days. (if there is a short post from me of maniacal laughter, I'm working)


On a totally unrelated note, the power company finally showed up this week and started clearing the land for that power line we have been debating over for the last 4 years. the 60 foot easement was something I had gotten around to accepting as a given. I was not pleased to find that said easement included the safety need to clear further out in case a tree fell on the line. (actual cleared width is more like 120 feet +) It did however finally determine once and for all exactly where the property lines fall back in what used to be woods. I own more than I thought on the one hillside. but I no longer own anything that could be called woods, just the remnants of a forest that is little more than a big grove and a wide rutted track of mud that will soon be full of thorny brush if the rest of the property is any indicator.

I will take some pics for next convention.

[salamanca]

ok, so how could my life get any odder?

yeah, should not say that out loud...

My across the street neighbor waved me over while I was trimming the ditch. She apparently needs a favor. turns out she is the parent class advisor for her daughter's class. The daughter is a junior and the Prom is next weekend.

No, she did not ask me to take her daughter to the prom, that would be too weird. (and "special hell" wrong)

I am however, spending tomorrow morning reading the essay submissions for the candidates for Prom King and Queen and placing votes.

That's right, I get to pick the Prom Queen.

To be honest, I had forgotten the school had a written portion to the selection process but it beats just letting the kids vote for the popular kid. I'll update next week on how long, intriguing , and/or tedious the essays were.

[Orianna]

Essay submissions for candidates?

I love it! I hope the essays are hilarious; do let us know if there are any ridiculous metaphors or similes ("they kissed with a passion akin to a thirsty gerbil drinking from a water bottle!").

[salamanca]

If I recall my misspent youth, the essays are more about what they have achieved and done that qualifies them for the title.

I expect it will read a bit dry and be full of mentions of being Captain of the team, organizing charity events, serving as president of the spanish club, and supporting the other school activities.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Yea, but theres bound to be that one joker from the "Prom is sooo Lame" crowd who'll put in an entry just for the lulz. That's the one I want to hear about...

[salamanca]

I swear these kids all put their student ID numbers on the same form letter. Everybody is in the merit roll, a 2 sport athlete (and team captain) participate in the same 3 charity events, a class officer, working this summer for college money (where they will be studying in a medical related field) and feel the crown will let them be a role model for the younger kids. EXCEPT for one young lady. She has participated in nothing, feels overlooked and just wants to be noticed. (so my choice is generic alpha star or Carrie). I think I'm picking based on grammar skills.

[Black Jack Rackham]

I swear these kids all put their student ID numbers on the same form letter. Everybody is in the merit roll, a 2 sport athlete (and team captain) participate in the same 3 charity events, a class officer, working this summer for college money (where they will be studying in a medical related field) and feel the crown will let them be a role model for the younger kids.

GOOONNNGGG!!!

[Orianna]

Picking based on grammar skills sounds good to me. Or if anyone used any unusal/interesting vocabulary words...

[salamanca]

So, the local renn faire... Stuff is sort of a mess this year (budget and some litigation with the township). Hence we have been making due in some spots, creating shows with the street cast, and dragging yours truly into doing some street cast work here and there. The big issue for a lot of the civilian patrons has been arriving to discover that an inability to negotiate terms early has left us without a Joust. (the horrors). Well, never fear, the friendly and eager Highland Games crew have decided to fix the problem on their own. Now before they start their competitions, they open the event with a joust. I'M ON THE PHONE SO NO LINK. But if one was to head to Youtube and search for "Great Lakes Medieval Faire Joust 2012" you will find the video. It is either the best or worst joust ever. If everything goes as planned this afternoon, I would expect an even more epic video of todays tilt to commemorate "time travel weekend".

[Rebecca Iavelli]

Here is the link for You Tube Great Lakes Ren Fair Joust 2012, that Sal mentioned in his post above.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qg94_-Z8Ut4


Now, if they need any more hobby horses for next years joust, I can recommend a woman I know, who made some for her daughters 10 year old birthday party (she posted pictures), and she even made a cow one, should any want an alternate form of transportation.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Well I was hoping for a more...definitive...winner, but it's still awesome!

[salamanca]

Well, just got home after a day of shenannigans and chaos (followed by dinner). It was... Unique and interesting. I don't want to spoil any surprises of the joust as I know it will get posted but the winner was determined after another "tie" by firing mini marshmellows from mini crossbows. And the "horses" in use are plenty. Since you can't see them close up on the vid, the joust master is riding a dragon. The jousters are mounted on a black and white spotted steed and a pink and white unicorn. The joustmaster's wife provides the sound effects using the traditional coconut halves (delivered via african swallows).

[salamanca]

Forgot about the rest of the day. This morning, I built a dagger sheath for "Lotte L-O-T-T-E please and thank you very much" (her official name) the gypsy and bawdy song group leader. The poor lass had been carrying it loose in her pouch and kept accidently flinging it out when she spins around. Then I hugged a lot of people hello (some of them were even not men). Then we watched jousting, then there was a "pub crawl" of sorts involving finding food from various vendors we like that took us across the entire grounds. We then played Gluckshaus and I won all the doubloons (which were mine anyhow). I explained steampunk to a harpist, (i hate this theme weekend it's full of goggles, gears, anime, superheroes and Doctor Who is everywhere). Then we watched the dance show and coerced a pair of age appropriate gypsy warriors (who had built their own very awesome wooden swords and daggers...very jealous of their talent) into being chained to our 17 year old D'artagnan. (people traps are great toys) then there was a trip to the blacksmith so he could check out my vintage handcuffs which he is copying. After that, I got flagged down by Cardinal Richelieu and asked to serve as escort to Lady DeWinter (who is far too young for that role at a mere 24). I then introduced her (she's new) to several of the veteran costumed patron regulars and she introduced me to several of the new cast and everybody got new friends. Then on to pub sing where money was being raised for one of the performers who skipped the week with a potentially severe health issue (we haven't heard details beyond a scheduled biopsy but it sounds serious). My pal Capt. Stout even paired up with his old partner for a song (something he swore he would never do). Following closing events there were some questionable pictures involving a gourd I swear I was not involved in, target shooting of a minimarshmallow catapult I should have gotten involved in and a sword fight between Porthos and a toddler that was the best fight of the day.

[salamanca]

I actually watched an olympic event today, they showed 12 minutes of women's fencing between boring sports. I have determined I don't care who wins so long as the Italian lady loses. She screamed and threw her mask off after every touch like some steroid addled football player. (no panache at all). Then I hit the faire earlier than ever and none of my regular crew of touble was there so I joined in with some other folks and spent the day firing marshmallows from a mini trebuchet, bartending at the speakeasy behind one of the vendors (that's right, our alcohol free faire has spawned an actual speakeasy just like prohibition), caught some actual shows, shared some food and laughs, took some orders for gear (which I just finished building) avoided being a pirate, got told I look just like Aramis kwith any luck, his girlfriend would agree and upgrade), got told I look like Porthos (not at all true), and then realized they both meant Athos (who I do resemble) but nobody knows which actor is playing which musketeer. Then I realized I locked my keys in the trunk. But the head of security is my neighbor so I got a lift home for the spare set. And another day done.

[Lady Grace]

I admit, it brought a smile to my face when the 38yr old from Kazakhstan won the men's road race at the first day of the Olympics. Gotta root for the middle-agers kicking the younguns' butts.

[salamanca]

Yeah, I am down with a guy winning his last competitive race, making for 70 career wins and a gold medal. Faire update:. I now need to build a portable confessional window for one of the other "uberpatrons" known as "the beer priest". He wants to wander and solicit confessions from the regulars. So tomorrow I will be shopping at home depot and the craft stores. I also need to cut staves for 4 people this week. And my 2 favorite faire accomplices are missing the rest of the run. So I need to get to recruitin' new blood. And lest I forget...the JOUST. HULKING Sir William returned as villianous champion (the one in the other vids wearing a kilt with long hair) to face his challenger, Lord Higgins (the only man who can outdress me every week). Higgins and his wife run a lovely shoppe called "the Gilded Lily" and sell fancy baubles and pocket watches. So what was this week's twist?. IT WAS A DRAG JOUST. Both men took the field wearing full length dresses. The vid should be up soon from the same guy that filmed the other jousts.

[salamanca]

I have work stories already (but they must wait for a keyboard). Today I discuss the renn faire. Surprise! Somebody is planning ahead and have announced the weekend themes already for 2013. For those who are not regular faire types, most of these shows highlight a theme each weekend to draw extra attention or showcase special events (a celtic weekend for example). Weekends 4-6 are fairly typical. PIRATE INVASION, CELTIC, BARBARIANS RETURN. But weeks 1-3 got me scratching my head. SUPERHEROES AND FRIENDS, ALTERNATE REALITY TYME TRAVEL (steampunk/Dr. Who/superheroes), TOGA PARTY. So I guess my renn faire will be full of batman costumes and frat boys this year. Apparently wearing doublets and swords isn't weird enough.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Why am I thinking of Steampunk Batman now?

http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/steampunk-batman

[salamanca]

And here I was thinking Bluto from popeye followed by bluto from animal house. or a batman bedsheet toga. (not gonna happen)

[salamanca]

Ok, the coolest manager in the mall (hot topic) has once again gone above and beyond on the awesome plan. For midnight opening on black friday, Lisa has decided (as of this morning) to highjack the store music with her ipod and play nothing but 80's pop and rock for the moms that are shopping. I finally have a use for that Rick Astley disc I use to bug jeremy on long drives to columbus. I also dug up some shonen knife and police tracks.

[Rebecca Iavelli]

Now that is strange. I would never have pegged you for a Rick Ashley fan.

[salamanca]

No, i am a police and Cars fan. Rick is for makking passengers regret asking me to drive.

[Black Jack Rackham]

You may not be a fan of his, but he is a fan of yours. You know he's never gonna give you up...