the Strangeness that is my life

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Aug 01, 2017 6:24 pm

Well, obviously he is your eternal problem. You need to find his new place of employment and convince his manager to let YOU fire him again.

Unrelated, I may have discovered the first step of old age. I bought a pair of either slip on shoes or slippers from Walmart. I still haven't figured out which they are and don't care.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Sep 02, 2017 8:29 pm

Reasons to dine at low class buffets #736:

Just enjoyed overhearing a loud conversation about the Walking Dead. It was a couple in their 30's and mom at their table. They seem to get that the show is a sci-fi/fantasy. But apparently "Fear the Walking Dead" is really happening. The more they extrapolated, the weirder it got. It started with the guy explaining the origins of the zombie outbreak based on what is probably on the show ( never saw it myself) but then the girlfriend started looking up those descriptions on her smart phone and assuming links between the results.

According to them (and mom who is old enough to remember some of these things directly) the zombie virus is a strain of Scarlet Fever. ( And yes, the trio was discussing getting inoculated ASAP). This seems to stem from experiments by the government during the Korean War (which got quick blame assigned to the Democrats). Them the real problems escalated in the late 60's with the electric kool-aid that spread the virus causing the government to take a war in Vietnam to explain all the deaths. (Sadly Mom is buying into this part and now is blaming the zombie plague for the actual death of a cousin who was killed on Vietnam).

I guess they got things locked down for a bit after that because their next topic was the current state of things and speculation that the zombies are the real reason Trump needs to build the wall to protect us. I opted to leave before they started making guesses about the hurricanes being manufactured to wipe out zones of contamination.

These three are either the dumbest people on earth or the best improv troupe ever.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Sun Sep 03, 2017 10:57 am

LG I thought I told you, no messing with Dave's head during the off season.
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Sep 03, 2017 11:49 am

I should expect this sort of thing in the area. I was only a block and a half from Jeremy's house.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby spizio » Sun Sep 03, 2017 9:28 pm

salamanca wrote:So, today I had to scrap all my plans at work to herd scottish cattle.

Guy next door leases his land to see moron that can't figure out how fences work so for the third time this spring, I have cattle wandering on my property.

For those of you that have never been around cattle, they are faster than you are, don't tend to turn for things smaller than they are, and tend to run when you want them to walk.

Got lucky in that they missed all the important things on the golf course. They finally got rounded up after 3-4 hours of being loose in part because the neighbors on the other side left a hunting dog out and loose and she took an interest in the large prey.

Personally, I had images of a herd of feral cows running free in the woods for the next several years attacking cars, unsuspecting deer and leaving droppings in various yards.

And before you ask, No. I did not surf on them. Would have tried had I caught up.


Your problem is that you didn't try running on/riding them
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Mon Sep 04, 2017 9:41 am

Black Jack Rackham wrote:LG I thought I told you, no messing with Dave's head during the off season.



We had to practice somewhere!
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:45 pm

Yesterday, not a single listenable song was on the radio, I bruised my tailbone, smashed my hand and had my leg all bruised up in three separate work incidents. The mall staff has not responded to requests to help with set up in two weeks. And a water pipe broke in the basement.

I am calling it "A very good day".

Why is that good?

Because I am not the 26 year old guy that showed up at the FLGS for a Pokemon Go " raid" who failed to catch the rare digital critter. Poor guy was so mad he stormed out, punched his car until he dented the door and drove off. He made enough of a scene that a guy who was at the sub shop next door waiting on food came over to see what had caused the screaming fit in the parking lot.

I may be bruised and stuck listening to the Damn Yankees on the radio but at least I have not embarrassed myself in front of a comic shop over a game aimed at kids. (At least not today)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Oct 07, 2017 10:03 am

Tales from the mall!!!!

New season, entire security team is new except the supervisor. Half the janitors are replaced and a new maintenance guy... So much for building goodwill for favors in the past.

Corporate office didn't mess any of my stuff up for once. Some fool in product planning did my layout however. I lose space for 14 items to advertise a free giveaway. ( We are handing them an overpriced calendar cube if they buy two calendars at full price. Why we have these stupid cubes and why they are 15 bucks I do not know)

Meanwhile that missing display space takes 8 ofy top ten sellers off the shelves completely. We are expected to leave them in a closet and hope people ask for them.

The layout guy also decided that the children's entertainment shelf should have a front row of Thomas the Train, Shopkins, Disney Princesses, and Winnie the Pooh. The Back row is Gilmore Girls, Kiss, Goonies and Wimpy Kid.

You read that correctly, Rock Band Kiss in the kids section next to the Goonies.

And the Obama Calendar is next to the Legends in Grey Confederate civil war calendar. Nothing could go wrong with that.

Tomorrow I get to build the game booth featuring an entire section of "Poop" themed products and kids games like "Toilet Trouble" (you can look that up on your own).

79 days until the fat man steals your cookies.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Tue Oct 10, 2017 11:12 am

And THIS is why I so love this time of year (when you go back to work at the mall).

salamanca wrote:79 days until the fat man steals your cookies.

I'M NOT FAT!
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Tue Oct 10, 2017 3:45 pm

*hides the cookie stealing plans*
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Oct 11, 2017 11:51 am

And that screwy dog sectional n with the backward alphabet just got me a failing set up score from corporate because I followed to supplied layout instead of alphabetizing it properly.

Had I done it the other way, it would have failed for not following the layout.


New highlight moments. Fire alarm went off yesterday. The manager of the new store next toe fled the building in a panic. Everyone else in the building ignored it as usual. Then the 20 year old build a bear manager smirked and blurted out, "rookie".

Mall is soon to open a bulk candy store next to the ladies plus size clothing shop. You can make your own joke out of that.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Wed Oct 11, 2017 12:27 pm

salamanca wrote:Mall is soon to open a bulk candy store next to the ladies plus size clothing shop. You can make your own joke out of that.

Location, location, location.

The other day I was driving down Rt. 9 and saw a head shop nestled between a Dunkin Donuts and a Domino's Pizza.
smafdi wrote:STOP BEING SO DARN POPULAR GUYZ SRSLY I NEEDZ MEH GAMEZ TIHS YAER!!!

kenderleech wrote:If the cows were not meant to be ridden, why would they be so close to the chase scenes?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Wed Oct 11, 2017 1:28 pm

When I was in college, Roosevelt Field Mall had the trifecta of Godiva, Haagen-Dazs & Victoria's Secret all next to each other.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Oct 11, 2017 7:16 pm

Two classic customer moments today.

First lady is late 50's early 60's buying a calendar. We get to the time to pay and she tells me o have to bear with her as she just got her nails done and they are not dry. I stand there for a full four minutes as she maneuvers inter her purse and pocketbook. She finally gets it open and there is a pause... "Crap, the card I need to use is in my pocket.".

We will pause while Mark laughs maniacally.

The lady is wearing tight designer style jeans and she is in no way getting into that pocket without wrecking her nails. Meanwhile, in my brain, I am declaring the threshold of customer service has been reached. No way am I helping out on this one. So I tell her she is on her own for this and ask if she is sure she would not prefer using a different card ( as there are 5 I can see in her pocketbook).

Nope, five minutes of prying and wriggling a finger into her front pocket to wrangle that card out without wrecking her nail job.

Afterwards, I shared the story with the neighbors and threatened to summon them to help should it happen again. Hot Topic staff shouted "not it!" as did the Build a Bear staff.

Will post the other a bit later.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Oct 11, 2017 8:09 pm

Ok, second customer was a woman in her early 30's and her mom. I didn't think this was going to be a sale. Everything about their manner told me they were just browsing and might be back later in the season. This got reinforced by mom commenting on the prices.

Next thing I know, the younger one is making a stack of games. Pokemon Monopoly, Harry Potter Clue, some Star Wars stuff, and a few others. I do what I can to keep her aware of the running total and she is fine with it. Mom, on the other hand, is pointing out how expensive this all is. Lady says ring it up.

$166 bucks and change. Double check with her being ok with it while I can still void the sale and she is fine with it.

The lady reaches in her pocket and pulls out some money... She has $16. That is right, Sixteen bucks. She looks at her mother and says, "Mom, you have to give the man the rest.".

At this point, I figure the sale is gone. Mom was against everything in this plan from the start. She tells her daughter this will require dipping into her "secret" money and the daughter says she expected that. Out comes the cash.

I still can't believe mom went in for it. My family would be willing to cover something immediately needed or maybe a once in a lifetime item. But to cover a pile of games at a store that I could come back for at anytime, no way.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Oct 12, 2017 3:11 pm

The home office came through! We were shorted were shorted the material for four shelves. (Out of 10). Home office just delivered the 2x5' steep grid panels to use for those. And 7 support beams.

Those of you doing math may notice that each shelf will need 2 support beams and realize we need 8, not 7. But you are wrong. I still need 8.

Because the 7 beams they sent are 4' long not 5'.

I know everything is bigger in Texas but by the time it reaches Ohio, four feet will not bridge a five foot span.

Damn you Kevin in the fixtures department! ( Yep, same guy from last year's similar problem)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Oct 16, 2017 11:09 pm

Imagine, if you will, a couple in their 20's browsing the calendar kiosk.

"Oh, look. They have a Hamilton calendar."

"Yeah, that is supposed to be a really good show."

" That's because it was written by Shakespeare."


Dave's reaction as they walk away: "Buh...wha?"

After further review and weeping for the current state of education, I have determined that this can mean only one thing.

Shakespeare was a true genius to write a play about a man that takes place 200 years after his death and get all the biographical details right. Plus he made it a musical using a song style that would not come into vogue for another 350 years. THAT MAN IS A GENIUS!
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Tue Oct 17, 2017 10:05 am

"You're still mad at me about that whole 'gun-pointing' thing, aren't you?" -- Fortunato Valeri

And here's where I try to be a writer...
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Oct 20, 2017 10:37 am

Ok, there are now PopTarts that are Jolly Rancher flavor.

Since I never liked the red ones and did not want to risk being disappointed in the watermelon ones, I opted to try the Green Apple ones.

First impressions:
- The scent hits you right away. Not used to smelling a PopTart in raw form before chewing. They smell strong and sweet.

- The untoasted pastry does nothing to dim the flavor. (I have a college degree, I know the proper method of eating a PopTart is right out of the foil)

- That flavor is everything you expect from a Jolly Rancher. Intense sour apple, super sweet and a whole lot overwhelming in scale.

My first reaction to a bite was " I'm AWAKE NOW!"

The icing is very green. Ninja turtles and leprechauns green.

So I gave a pack to the kids at the FLGS to split and try. So the bold 20 year olds are food cowards. Having just finished sundaes from the group covered in cheesecake, froot loops, gummy bears and other candy, they nibbled the tiniest bites possible and cried about the PopTart being "Too Sweet".

The best review was when one of the guys squealed, " It tastes like cavities".

4 stars would buy again.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:53 pm

Follow up review from Build a Bear.

"It's sweet but it's good. Wait, there are tears. Why am I crying! Sour! It made me cry!"

I think they weaponized a breakfast pastry.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Oct 24, 2017 6:34 pm

I am a terrible person.

Backstory first:
Last year, at this time, the asst. manager of Build a Bear went on vacation with her family. A year ago, tomorrow, they were in a very severe car accident. Fortunately, everyone has recovered fully but it was questionable until January if she would be able to come back to work. Everybody on the staff and around that part of the mall were very worried at the time and glad to see her return. Flash forward to this week.

Saturday, the same asst. manager left for a week vacation trip with her family. We all wished her well and said be careful. Social media posts imply all is well.

So today I walked in the store at shift change and asked the manager, "Have you heard anything about Dawn?" with a concerned look on my face.

I did this in front of Dawn's good friend they just hired and the 19 year old that was thrust into responsibility to cover during last year's accident.

The fearful looks of worry were awesome! The manager chuckled and set things right. And I cackled with villainy.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Wed Oct 25, 2017 4:57 am

salamanca wrote:I am a terrible person.

Backstory first:



Backstory unneeded. we know you are a terrible person.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Oct 28, 2017 7:56 pm

Tried to stop at a local shop run by a friend after work. (Near Jeremy's house but he never goes there). Could get there because the entire downtown is cordoned off for yet another parade.

This is the third parade in 5 weeks. Always on Saturday even for "Monday holidays". Plus the center of town is the only major crossroad for 4 miles if you're going east/west and 6 miles for those trying north/south. And they never plan alternates.

Plus the boss texted me on the way home to tell me he was leaving my paycheck to be picked up Monday...Instead of handing it to me when i left. Send weeks, it literally doesn't pay to be me
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Oct 30, 2017 11:11 am

I have a Kevin Smith Funko Pop figure now.
I am unstoppable.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Nov 01, 2017 10:13 am

As of this post, there are 53 days, 14 hours, 46 minutes and 7 seconds until Christmas.

Not that the countdown tracker is back at build a bear or anything.
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