Comics Thread (was My OFFICIAL Apology to Dave)

[salamanca]

I was good today and didn't backslide on my pull list cuts (despite the lantern crossover this month...who am I kidding, there is a lantern crossover event every month). FOREVER EVIL: THE ROGUES... So Flash's best bad guys get back to Central City after the big job offer from the Crime Syndicate to discover the city in flames. Nobody can figure out how it got trashed so fast. Capt. Cold presees the team to chack the hospital where his sister is and the rescue some cops on the way. Then some B list guys show up looking to wreck the hospital and it's fight time. I like the book for sticking to the Rogues mantra of we are about the score up until you take a poke at us, then it's personal. UNCANNY X-MEN... Still battling the atom here. Team cyclops and the new future team decide to kick some tail. Magik and future Colossus make sure we have fewer characters to keep track of (folks is gettin' run through and stabbified). Evil future team tries to teleport the original team back in time and it doesn't work (future hank suspects the may have created a big enough time/space conundrum that they are now outside of being affected. (they broke the timestream). And everything is set for the next issue where heroes fight each other and not a bad guy is seen. DRUMROLL........ HAWKEYE HAS A NEW ISSUE!!!. Time is so freaking jumbled in this book right now. This issue starts before they killed Grills, covers reaction to his death and funeral, gets Clint's brother Barney in the apartment (following up the last issue) and ends where the annual started (which was released 2 months ago). I think I need a second copy of the last 6 issues to cut up and tape together in proper order. This story is running like Pulp Fiction. But it's a great read. Clint's reaction to his buddy's death and telling his father was awesome for a couple panels on a page.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Ok so I finally got around to catching up on Uber. Good comic. The final days of WWII (at least as it was in our timeline, the Russians are already in Berlin and the Americans are just about there. Herr Schicklgruber is just about to eat a bullet when one of his super-science guys informs him their "Uber" project is ready to go. Yup, the Germans get Superheroes first. And they can do a metric ass-load of damage with them. HOWEVER, the supers need a lot of upkeep, so while they can fight and win battles, they cannot hold positions or patrol. It is bloody and violent and holds no punches about how awful war is. And even though the covers make it appear to be some kind of White Supremacist screed, it paints the Nazis as the villains even though we're pretty much watching the story through their eyes.

[salamanca]

I forgot to post the weekly crappy comic update. Satellite Sam has dragged to a pacing halt. The entire issue was taken up by little sidebar bits concerning the sidekick actors wanting screen time the outed writer being fired, the congressman helping the network running for office and the results of the world series. It went nowhere seems to do nothing to further the plot of solving the murder mystery and the art was sketchy even by Chaykin standards.

[salamanca]

Over at DC it's just some lantern books that are not green. LARFLEEZE takes a continued beating from his resurrected constructs and fails to learn a lesson. His kidnapped butler continues to travel the universe with an all powerful entity from another universe (there are a lot of these in DC right now) and posterchild for ADHD to meet her angsty sister from another universe (see what I mean). Turns out ole Larfleeze is now a living power battery so his minions have to keep him a living slave and opt to go ransack the universe. Meanwhile, over in RED LANTERNS, Guy calls Bleeze's bluff about outing him as a spy by outing himself as a spy. He then convinces the reds he no longer works with or for the Green Lanterns. Cue the worst timed arrival of Hal Jordan ever with his corps. Guy and Hal have the mandatory fist fight and Guy agrees to help on the condition of Hal giving them a space sector (you can guess which one it will end up being). And amidst this, Kyle steals the red entity from Atrocitus leaving him linked the Dexstar again (best comic cat ever) then Kyle shows up and offers to help Relic (another other dimension unstoppable being) destroy the Source Wall. For those keeping track, destroying the Source Wall is usually the goal of Darkseid and normally ends with the wall foever entraping the being that dared disturb it. Somebody should probably point out to these fools that screwing with the source of creation is probably not the best weekend project idea unless you have some very well defined and organized plans to do so and consult Batman.

[salamanca]

Finally at Marvel there are not one but two major events going on. The Battle for the atom pits the x-men of the future against the x-men of the past while the current x-men argue with themselves in the most convoluted crossover ever. WOLVERINE AND THE X-MEN features original iceman finally realizing there are like 4 of him running around current cyclops has a psychic encounter with future jean grey. And the evil future x-team escapes with the original past x-men since they cannot be sent back in time at the moment. Instead the end up at the army base the original team first fought Magneto at and SHIELD apparently has enough free time to send a bunch of Helicarriers to add to the mess. Then future Jean foclrces weapons launches, blames the spies and we are all set of a finale issue. Meanwhile the INFINITY event has sent every not x-man (and wolverine because he is everywhere) into space to save the universe from an unstoppable threat from another universe and probably the inhumans (see, the extradimensional stuff is even crossing into other companies) so the Secret Avengers has nothing to do with it's own ongoing story so we can watch Fury and Coulson fight unnamed something and call for backup. Iron Patriot shows up with a new shield agent that got inhumans powers (the new marvel playtoy) and zap more undefined guys. Then a "bad" inhuman shows up for a cliffhanger. So nothing actually useful or interesting happened.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Dumped a bunch of stuff I simply wasn't reading (including Secret Avengers, and a metric ton of bat-family titles that just weren't going anywhere). And did it all while the Iron Man action figure my youngest loves so much he bathed it (and yes, it has electronic parts) randomly screamed bloody murder and squawked out it's last hurrahs of "I am IRON MAN", "Iron Man Armor Mark IV is GO!" and "RHODEY!!!" before I finally had enough and took both its batteries and several pieces of its innards out.

[salamanca]

You dismantled a special edition Tourette's syndrome iron man?. I would have hid it in your wife's car.

[salamanca]

AVENGERS A.I. Still has lousy art and the story was all about post combat ramifications. We find out how Hank Pym copes with bipolar issues (poorly), what the backstory is on Alexis (in a single issue...take note Joss Whedon), pithy commentary from the Doombot (still the best part) and the fate of the "late" victor mancha (more machine than man). I'll give it at least one more issue to wow me again. GREEN LANTERN ANNUAL finishes the Relic storyline. Restores relative order to the universe and proves yet again that universe changing epics never change much of anything. Seriously, by the end they reset everything but the planet Oa. X-MEN BATTLE FOR THE ATOM gets it's own "annual" conclusion and kills a bunch of x-men but none of the current timeline (surprise). It proves the worst of the future is caused by the cyclops/wolverine pissing contest. And we get new results in the original x-men custody battle that let's Bendis stake his corner solidly. And we get to keep a future x-man I think as well as return a long dead one in the new series. But who cares because... SEE NEXT POST...

[salamanca]

THE SANDMAN: OVERTURE RELEASED THIS WEEK!!!!!. Neil Gaiman and JH Williams are here with the new Sandman story and I have missed the dreaming more than I realized. This is the prequel story and it is amazing. DREAM/MORPHEUS IS THERE, NATURALLY. But we also get Destiny, Death, Merv, Lucien, and the Corinthian. And...nope not spoiling it. Just go get a copy. If you never read the series, go get the trades.

[salamanca]

GREEN LANTERN features Hal deciding the corps should now enforce the use of power rings in unlawful manner. (that is right the guy is usung a power ring to prevent power ring usage). I'm gonna guess this will end with Hal going overboard and making Sinestro seem like a good leader. Meanwhile in FOREVER EVIL Ultraman pummels Black Adam, Lex uses Bizarro to get free satellite signal and the Rogues get their powers all messed up by Deathstorm. (leading to a great line by Capt. Cold about needing 30 minutes and an appliance store to fix himself. And Batman finally sees the video of Nightwing so you know issue 4 will involve him looking to stir the pot. Over on EARTH 2, evil Superman takes on Dr. FATE and it does not go well for the good guys but we finally get the female Red Tornado activated with a familiar character uploaded in the robot. And Batman invades the Arkham facility to unleash the planets worst monsters against the man of steel. Side step to the rough draft Star Wars...3 issues, still no Han Solo appearance. Lots of fighting and quest giving to travel elsewhere. And a Sith Knight shows up.

[salamanca]

2 new Marvel books. MIGHTY AVENGERS finally gets the team together. Blue Marvel proves he is awesomer than everybody. Cthulhu monster gets beat by a big pool your powers combo and the team proves greater than the parts. Lots of small clues about Ronin. He knows a lot about how to channel chi, he uses martial arts, he knows a lot about magic and astral beings invading from other dimensions. I am starting to hope it's one of the other immortal weapons. AMAZING X-MEN #1. Nightcrawler is in heaven when Azazel attacks. FIRESTAR joins the teaching staff and ends up on a mission before her first class. The school is overrun by Bamfs and part of the team gets sent to the great beyond where they will likely drag a certain blue mutant back from the dead. And it was awesome!

[Black Jack Rackham]

Realized when I took the boys to the comic book store yesterday, I have been sorely negligent in delivering the best comics around to my children. In all the time I've been reading to the three of them, I never once introduced Dreadstar. Will be fixing that here real soon.

[salamanca]

Just two books this week. ALL NEW X-MEN is mostly post crossover filler. The team settles in at their new base, beast insults magneto's tech skills, bobby gets yelled at a lot, jean and the triplets have a game of the dozens and the boys all obsess over how they want to date Jean Grey. And surprise, jean freaks out for a page, never expected that... Over at DC they are doing a "Zero Year" event so we get filler issues about our heroes before they got powers. GREEN LANTERN CORPS features John Stewart in his marine days rescuing hurricane victims in Gotham City from Anarky. It's full of obnoxious rhetoric and assumption that in the face of a hurricane thousands of people would turn down the chance to evacuate to stay in a football stadium with no power, water or food to spite "the man". And Batman shows up in the background for 2 panels to make it an official crossover.

[salamanca]

AFTERLIFE WITH ARCHIE sold out so no comment from me until after turkey day. SECRET AVENGERS continues the earth problems of Infinity (the sudden influx of inhumans) the pacing bites, the narration of the new SHIELD inhuman agent overlapped so many other characters I mistook 3 others in the book. And they have nicknamed Agent Coulson "cheese" which is just stupid. If this continues, I am bailing out. AVENGERS AI featured "Dimitrios Unmasked!". Which would matter if it was revealing anything but a brand new character. Monica Chang gets set up by SHIELD to take down all robots, Hank Pym phases into a bipolar manic phase, and Vision plays video games inside the "cloud". It's has totally lost all appeal as a book. FOREVER EVIL ROGUES REBELLION just rehashed the Forever evil issue from a couple weeks ago with an added fight against Parasite. 3 bucks wasted.

[salamanca]

Forgot the X-titles. UNCANNY X-MEN is all about training. It's a character issue focused on Ben, the new kid that shapeshifts to look like whoever is near him. Emma realizes his actual power is about making people near him like and trust him so it's off to Atlantic City casinos to practice and hit on people. Then she sends him to an office to deliver a letter without drawing attention to himself. It's a great issue. (#14). Over in X-MEN, the team with no Y chromosomes mostly sit in the background while a newly alive Monet St. Croix and Karima Shapandar bond over returning from the dead. The focus is on the return of Lady Deathstrike and it looks great. SIDENOTE ON THIS TEAM:. How many freaking telepaths does one team need?. Monet, Psylocke AND Rachel Summers?. Really?.

[Black Jack Rackham]

I am SO Giddy right now, just read that one of my very favorite writers Warren Ellis, is going to tackle one of my very favorite superheroes, Moon Knight. The thing is set to start in March and I can hardly wait! You can read about it here!

Now to pray to the gods of comic book writing that they don't use that idiotic idea of resolving his madness by saying he does have magic like they did in Moon Knight: Fists of Khonshu

[salamanca]

Moon Knight...just like Batman but in white and crazy. It's always a very good or very bad read. There are no middle of the road runs on that character. Wonder if he might be the current Ronin in Mighty Avengers.

[salamanca]

Well, here is last weeks update. LARFLEEZE it's really just a vessel for reading Giffen and DeMatteis crack jokes. The story is nowhere and not improving. RED LANTERNS isn't much better but we are gonna try beating bullies in sector 2814 and not going directly to Earth so that's a bonus. CAPTAIN MIDNIGHT took 5 issues but finally gave me what I wanted. A man out of time not accepting the status quo or his own legacy. It was a good read. ALL NEW X-MEN has the team fighting anti mutant zealots and saving a "mysterious girl mutant" that we all know from the teaser ads is X23. And at long last HAWKEYE drops in with another Kate story (to avoid the delayed resolution of the death of Grills) which features pennyless Kate in LA trying to be a private eye. (which is awesome).

[salamanca]

This week's fun pack. THE STAR WARS continues to make sure we really appreciate what got filmed. They finally introduce Han Solo as a big green alien. The cantina scene plays out the same but Greedo is now part of the rebellion. Kane Starkiller sacrifices his life for the young princes andafter 4 issues we still have a long way to go in the story. SECRET AVENGERS gets back to their plot from 2 months ago as if the Infinity crossover never happened. AIM agents try to cut a deal and Hawkeye fights Shang Chi...yeah Clint takes a beating. GREEN LANTERN calls in the entire corps to beat up one Star Sapphire and her friends. Hal's plan to reduce ring usage is not very efficient but the bull headed Lantern just won't admit he's wrong. EARTH 2 features a Superman/Flash race, Batman vs. Lois Lane (in a red tornado body) the introduction of Aquawoman and Jimmy Olsen (who is awesome. He "breathes information" and is a living internet) and Batman kills someone rather important to his classic storyline. AMAZING X-MEN splits the team in issue 2. Half in Heaven half in hell. Everybody is in a fight. Special appearance by the spirit of Prof. X.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Hey Dave (or any of our other comics fans really). I was reading an article over at the AV Club discussing the best mainstream comics (which, of course, mentioned bunches I am currently reading) but there was one I hadn't heard of that sounded good. Wanted to know if anyone had read it, Dream Thief. So, any comments?

[salamanca]

Sorry, it's not one I am aware of. Will check with the hirelings when I next pick up books. Weather was way too nasty after work tonight to venture towards comics.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Got the set (its a limited series (5 issues), haven't finished it yet but Dave, go get it. I promise it'll be worth it).

[salamanca]

So, Captain Midnight:. I guess we had to get to this point. CAP FIGHTS SOME HUGE MUSCLE GUY WITH ANGER ISSUES!. Yeah, that story where the shadowy bad guys hire a thug. We also have Cap recover his airplane that despite being built 70 yers ago is still more advanced than anything in the world...because now there is alien tech from a roswell crash. So the supergenuis just repurposed alien tech for himself... Might be time to bail on this. SECRET AVENGERS: featured a lot going on. Agent Hill negotiates with Modok, Banner gets blown up, Hawkeye and Fury get captured, Taskmaster gets an apprentice (and that alone is worth it). ALL NEW X-MEN (featureing the original team) adds X23 to the team and runs out on a mission with no practice. It read like filler issue even while developing their mutant zealot enemy plot. And over in the girls only X-men we have lots going on with Lady Deathstrike and Typhoid Mary stealing the sentient evil entity from the first story arc. Psylocke hunting them down and a new member for the sisterhood of evil. It had good development but seemed to rush some spots that should have had more time while dwelling on others. And DC... Released nothing of interest.

[salamanca]

Note on Dream Thief. It appears the Trade Paperback compilation is due out within a week (two at most). So I shall be taking that advice and having a read.

[Black Jack Rackham]

Ok I finished Dream Thief the other day (and am now onto The Unwritten, which I will tentatively recommend to those of you who are Harry Potter Fans) and I have to say, ARRRGGGHHH!! Great ending if I knew there were more issues on the way, HORRIBLE ending if this is everything. There BETTER BE MORE.

Next I saw this in my usual weekly email from CBS, Escape from Jesus Island.
Here's the blurb CBS sent with it