the Strangeness that is my life

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Feb 19, 2022 7:27 pm

Sigh, only in Ohio...

Dateline Palmyra Township: Thursday and Friday saw a storm roll through that led to excessive flooding in Palmyra including an animal farm. The local authorities had to rescue the stranded animals from the high waters. Including Ducks.

Ducks had to be rescued from water.

(We will quietly ignore the fact that it is a farm and most of those animals are on the way to the butcher anyhow)

Ducks!!!! From water!!!! C'mon!!!
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Legauche » Sat Feb 19, 2022 11:21 pm

Well, after all, those are DOMESTICATED ducks, and they're used to DOMESTICATED water! You introduce WILD water to their environment and they're like... a duck out of water!
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Mar 21, 2022 11:46 am

My grandfather just looked at me and asked me to make him half a bologna sandwich for lunch.

He wants the top half because the bottom half gets mushy.

If you were wondering, it is proof I come by that weirdness genetically.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Mar 26, 2022 9:51 pm

There was an ad on tv today for the city of Akron foodbank. Their logo has a line drawing of a couple recognizable skyline features from the city meshed together...

Including my college dorm. I know the food service was bad and college has gotten much more expensive but it's not bad enough to need to raid the food bank.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Watcher487 » Tue Apr 19, 2022 2:54 pm

After my alarm went off this morning, power went out. Strange as it seems 4 inches of WET HEAVY snow decided to be dropped on the overnight. While checking in via my phone to the local stations, Upstate NY got a Nor'Easter yesterday.... for Easter.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Apr 19, 2022 9:25 pm

We got less than 2 inches here but, yeah.

It was also 18 degrees colder than christmas.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Jun 04, 2022 10:24 pm

Well, tonight after work I made my pre-Origins run to Walmart for all that stuff i forgot where i put it.

Almost got arrested.

Came out to find an accident in my parking lane, not ay all related to my vehicle but the responding police officer had blocked me in.

All I did was ask if he could move the cruiser so I could be on my way. It's late and I have the early shift. He told me I could shut my mouth and wait for him to take as long as he pleased or he was going to write me up for interfering.

If I had the free time, I would lodge a complaint but I would rather go to Origins next week instead of filing police reports.

And...as i type this, the telemarketer scam for police benefits just called. Well timed folks.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Jun 19, 2022 3:47 pm

Customers...

This afternoon, i had a guy that lost a club while playing. Wait let me define that, he set it down on the ground, forgot to pick it up and did not miss it until the next hole. This is a common thing.

So he is unusual in that he is teally upset he has misplaced this particular club because it is a very bital amd important part of his game annd he absolutely needs it back. He waits around for 2 groups to finish to grill them about having possibly found it which they had not.

He insists on leaving his business card with a printed phone number so I can call him the moment it is found. This is, again, not unusual.

We get a lot of lost clubs. So I ask what model it is.
"It's a wedge".

Very good, sir. But that is the most common club lost in a set, what brand wedge is it?

"It's a Ping or a Wilson or some other name." (Keep in mind, this is his prized club. It would be like Mark misplacing his GM Guide and not knowing what game it is for)

Now he gets specific.

"It's got a big "W" carved into the top of it."

He already said it was a wedge, they all have a "W" stamped into the top to identify them, it is a universal mark to use a W or P (for pitching wedge) This will narrow things down exactly none.

"And the stick part is shiny metal color."

I look at the business card. The guy runs an auto body business. "CHROME" is a word he should know.

He stumbles off with his friends after insisting i immediately call when it comes in. I am not saying he was drunk AND stoned when he arrived at 10 am or left at 1 pm but ... yeah.

Club just came in, I called the number. His printed business card has the wrong number printed on it. A very irritated lady who gets a lot of calls to see if their car is fixed yet.

Yeah, he is handing out business cards with the wrong number.

Anybody want to buy a used wedge?
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Black Jack Rackham » Tue Jun 21, 2022 2:48 pm

Only if I can beat him over the head with it for forcing me to confront the fact that there are really people THAT stupid...
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 21, 2022 4:30 pm

Today, I put on my brand new "Today is going to be a great day" t shirt for work.

This morning we had an equipment beakdown that required a 2 hour repair, then my 3 least favorite customers showed up, a supply shipment arrived so damaged in shipping it is unusable, our golf cart supplier informed us that the proprietary part we need for 3 carts is back ordered until november, the garbage truck had it's bed raised and tore out the phone line which means no credit card sales until the phone company can find time to fix it tomorrow, and a family of muskrats decided to undermine one of my cart bridges last night.

It is still only 4:30, there might be more.

But for now, I have been told my shirt has lied to us.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Tue Jun 21, 2022 4:55 pm

I think your shirt is right, you cant cant Read the sarcasm in it.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 21, 2022 8:48 pm

Had a topper.

My second dumbest customer showed up, read the sign about being cash only because the phone line was torn down and scolded me for not forwarding that phone to a different number so I could answer it.

Yeah... Ohio people. There is a reason the smart Ohio engineers became astronauts...to get away from the rest of the state.
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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