the Strangeness that is my life

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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby daundelyon » Wed Sep 02, 2020 8:14 pm

Today I had to explain to an attorney that while it was nice he took some initiative, appealing a decision that had gone in his client's favor was maybe not the best choice.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 02, 2020 8:55 pm

But if he doesn't appeal, how does he get paid?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 09, 2020 5:31 pm

20 minutes ago, my 96 year old grandpa started a round of golf. Not unusual, he still plays 18 holes on Thursday, Saturday and Sunday morning along with his 9 hole round wednesday evening.

So why am I mentioning this?

Tonight he is playing a 37 year old for the league championship.

That's right, at 96 he bested 28 other guys to win the second half of the season. Sure they have handicaps but he is also averaging a mere 6 strokes over par for 9 holes. (The goal would be 36, he is shooting 42) That puts him in a tie for the tenth best average in this league.

As for that 37 year old, he is averaging a 37... he is number 3 in the league. And his late father played in this group 30 years ago.

I will let you all know later how it turns out.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Wed Sep 09, 2020 7:38 pm

So, match is over. 2 points per hole for a win. 1 point if you tie.

So Grandpa...

Loses the first hole.

Ties the second

Loses the third.

Ties the fourth.

Wins the fifth.

Ties the sixth.

Ties the Seventh.

For those doing math, that means he is down one hole with 2 to go. A win and a tie will go to a low net score (what they shot minus handicap. Grandpa gets to subtract 6, his opponent 1)

Tie on the eighth hole.

And...

Wait for it...

Tie on the ninth.

Our young guy has beaten Grandpa. 10 point to 8.

It could not have been closer.
Full scores: 38 (net 37) for the winner.
44(net 38) for Grandpa.

And this is the first time he has ever beaten the old man... something he has been trying to do for 6 years.

In postgame interviews, grandpa said, "I didn't think it was that close. I thought he had me by a couple more holes."
I don't mind growing old... but I hate growing up.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Mon Oct 05, 2020 7:07 pm

The moment when you get in the car and turn it on after several days of not going anywhere...and you forget you last were in the car listening to a Cramps disc...loudly.

May or may mot have had a mild cardiac incident.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sun Feb 14, 2021 5:09 pm

So, yesterday, I finally found a dvd copy of Doom Patrol, season 2 on a shelf for sale.

Yeah, that is strange enough, but there is more.

I walk up to pay and the clerk is a very polite and muggle looking lady that is probably around 60. She is just trying to make pleasant conversation when she asks, "So what is this about?"

My brain immediately (sidebar: spell check just suggested a very incorrect spelling of immediately) runs through all the glorious weirdness of season one and how appallingly awful all of it will sound. Overlapping all of that, i keep hearing my brain shout, "Don't tell her, it will break her soul."

But I gotta say something.

"It's about a bunch of 3rd rate superheroes who need therapy. And the episode they get therapy makes things even worse for them."

She is considering trying it out.

Thank God I wasn't there buying "The Boys".
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Feb 20, 2021 4:30 pm

Hopped over to the last Half-Price Books on my side of Cleveland today. Big disappointment. It is very rare that I find nothing worth reading.

Sci-fi section was trite and uninspired. Nothing in the history section that caught my eye.
Comic book trades were awful.
Board games were sad.

And the RPG shelf (singular) was nothing but pathfinder and 4th ed D&D.

But in the locked super important case was 3 4th ed. D&D books somebody thinks are worth 100 bicks each. A Monstrous compendium supplement for 50 (way over priced) and the gem of RPGs...

A purple box Moldvay edition of Basic D&D in nice shape. (The Erol Otis cover) asking price...$250!

Some thoughts:

-that box, complete, is a copy of B2:The Keep on the Borderlands, 1 set of 6 soft plastic dice, 1 crayon, a 68 page rulebook, a TSR catalog (in color about 8 pages) and a single sheet to mail in and join the RPGA.

That's it.

-they had a stand alone copy of the B2 module for $15 and 7 dice sets of good dice for $5.

-i am assuming the ads and crayon are even there. The tag did not list contents.

-Tom Moldvay would have been the first to tell you the rules were good but certainly not worth that.

- I love that edition more than all my other games combined and I would never justify buying a crisp, copy for that.

- i just checked... i bought a separate copy of the rulebook there a couple years ago for $30. (A really, clean, crisp copy)

- so, less the module, dice and rulebook... that's about $200 for a box, catalog, rpga ad, and crayon.


If you really want it, let me know and i will go stage an intervention for you.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Feb 27, 2021 8:09 pm

I am at a restaurant i trust for safety. Some family just pulled up in a black SUV. Headlights on high right through the window. Fortunate for me, i am a table down and not in the direct glare.

But as they exit, someone is still in the front passenger seat.

Nope, wrong about that. There is a headless child sized mannequin standing in the front passenger space propped against the windshield.

Freaking creepy.

Total "Silence of the lambs" vibe. I can practically hear "American Girl" playing.

And it isn't just me. The folks that got blinded left. The server went to clear the table, glanced out the window and shrieked.

At least it was wearing a floral print tank top.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Legauche » Tue Mar 09, 2021 10:51 pm

salamanca wrote:Today marks the first day of my 38th year working my job.

Yep, same job since 1983. So, what were the rest of you doing in '83?


I believe I was just embarking onto my first business application programming job. On a Wang 2200 using BASIC-2.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Mar 11, 2021 1:21 pm

Ah, the mighty WANG. I remember those. That was back when my parents thought they were doing me a favor buying a Commodore 64 and not letting me attach it to the TV. (I may have inherited some of those Luddite tendencies)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Mar 11, 2021 1:28 pm

From the dept. of stuff i never want to hear again:

Customer just said, "See you next week".
I reply, "If not sooner."

He responds, "We will be out of town, going to see my granddaughter."

I say, "That will be nice."

He says, " We are going to see her Burlesque show."

...

I got no answers for that. Nor do I want any.

Well, maybe this...

"MAN, WHAT?"
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Mar 26, 2021 6:18 pm

Researching my old hometown for a "Kids on Bikes style game". (Haven't even decided on a system yet)

Setting it in the town i grew up in. (Because i know the 10 year olds in 1980... easy NPCs)

Turns out I learned to cook in the same kitchen as the wife of John D. Rockefeller. Her family's house got converted into a home ec. annex for the school.

Totally useless info but mildly interesting.



Much more useful was being reminded that the local soft serve ice cream shop/hangout had no name just a giant sign with a "?" on it. Some people called it " the question mark" most just said "the mark". But for a supernatural mystery game, it's damn cool. You all can steal that for your own usage.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu Apr 01, 2021 4:48 pm

April Fools Day...

It snowed in Ohio because God is funny.

I respect that... good one.

Local car dealer had the network air their commercial upside down... amusing.

Since the ground is snow covered, i had time to go to the grocery. Literally the first trip off property i have made in a month that did not involve taking someone to a medical appointment... wait for it...

15 minute drive to the grocery, every radio station in northeast Ohio decides to use that time playing Styx... cruel, cruel joke.

And then my car gets revenge for 39 days of dormancy... the window refuses to open at the drive thru. Then works fine when i get home... ya got me good, there.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby kenderleech » Fri Apr 02, 2021 3:29 pm

salamanca wrote:
15 minute drive to the grocery, every radio station in northeast Ohio decides to use that time playing Styx... cruel, cruel joke.



Maybe they thought you wanted to have too much time on your hands?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri Apr 02, 2021 9:48 pm

Too much time... THAT is a Grand Illusion.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat Apr 10, 2021 10:10 am

I thought i had seen the most stereotypical and cliched name possible with one of my customers. He's of italian descent and the past name is literally the same as a Batman crime family.

And with a first name of "Antony"... it sounds like a mobster.

Then his brother showed up.

"Vittorio"

Yeah... two chubby, babyfaced nerds with mob names.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Thu May 13, 2021 9:33 pm

One of the virtues of my job during this past year is tthe fact that, since i live on the property, i can literally go for weeks without actually leaving the property.

Today was that day. Finally hit the near empty pantry time so this evening i ran out and resupplied.

Last year, the local church put up one of those annoying, red LED signs... today it is advertising a special service for this week.

"Biker Sunday"

Keep in mind the majority of motorcycle owners in this town are over 60 and have one of those cushy bikes with all the frills.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Lady Grace » Fri May 14, 2021 8:42 am

Dare I ask if they bother to wear helmets?
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri May 14, 2021 2:51 pm

Yes. Yes, they do. With the little microphones so they can chat with their wife on the bike.

If they ever met a legitimate biker, it would probably lead to heart attacks.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Fri May 14, 2021 9:58 pm

Oh ho! It gets better! Tye service is followed by a blessing of the bikes and a ride with the Pastor.

This is even better than the 80's when the Pastor was a trucker the rest of the week. (Never liked that guy, he kept accusing me of being a cultist...like i would join or form a cult...those are full of loonies)
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat May 15, 2021 9:50 am

Today marks the first DAWN PATROL of the season.

There are a handful of guys in this area that own and operate biplanes for their own entertainment. This morning, around 8 am, one of them flew over the golf course. He does this most weekend mornings if the weather is good.

It was about 50 degrees out at ground level so i gotta guess that open cockpit was a bit chilly.

Tgis was a newer model plane, something matching 1930's designs, not the WW1 replicas they usually fly by in.

Guess that makes it officially warm weather season.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat May 22, 2021 5:17 pm

Dumbest customer ever. (Yes, Mark. The same guy i called you about)

Guy finishes golfing. Drives cart down to SUV to unload. Nothing weird about that. Now we will bullet point the dumb.

- Parks to close to the car and blocks his own rear hatch from opening. Has to move the cart.

- Spends 6 minutes packing away golf shoes and the sundry items he tossed in the storage compartments of the cart. Closes the car up without putting his clubs in the car.

- among the sundry items were the car keys...now locked safely inside the car.

- fortunately, he left a window partly open and i can pop the lock for him.

- puts the clubs away. Tosses keys in next to them and locks himself out a second time. (Pockets exist for a reason)

- keys recovered. Everything stowed away (except his gold glove which he is still wearing.

- sits down in cart... chugs down the last of his sports drink. Puts cart in reverse, warning alarm buzzes like it should and he backs the cart around like he should to turn it in.

- stops, takes cart out of gear, puts it back into reverse, buzzer sounds. Steps on pedal anyway and seems surprised he went backwards again.

- stops, takes cart out of gear. Tries to chug now empty bottle of sports drink. Puts cart in reverse, buzzer sounds. Agsin surprised when cart moves backwards.

- stops and takes cart out of gear. Puts it in forward, cart goes the direction he wants. Immediately brakes and stops to try and drink empty sports drink again.

- puts cart back into reverse (buzzer, surprise, etc)

- finally gets it right. Drives cart up and drops it off. Tries to drink empty sports drink again.

It was like I was witnessing a British sketch comedy but in the making.

-

-
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby Legauche » Sat May 22, 2021 6:06 pm

Sounds like he'd indulged a little too much of the 19th Hole on holes 1 thru 18.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Sat May 22, 2021 8:33 pm

Not a drop. Totally sober. Just dumb.
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Re: the Strangeness that is my life

Postby salamanca » Tue Jun 22, 2021 9:22 am

So I had a golfer out Sunday. When he finished, he walked up and handed me a broken golf club. I can tell by the damage to the shaft it was either smashed agsinst something in frustration or intentionally snapped.

The guy says, "This was in the trash can on number 8. I thought they may have left it by mistake and come back for it."

Nice guy, but no idea how garbage works.

And, no. I did not save it.
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