The Town Crier

Altamira, in keeping with it's 'old world' charm has steadfastly refused to have a newspaper. Instead, her citizens delight in the common simplicity of the Town Crier service. The service hires boys to run through the streets yelling the day's events, tidbits of information, paid advertisements or what-have-you. Here, they say, "news travels as fast as a young man can carry it." If you simply wait long enough you can hear a variety of things.

Here come several young men now...

"It would seem that all is not going well for El Monstruo de Castille, General Montegue! Since moving to the frigid north of Ussura, it appears even the weather is against he and his army of invaders! Word is, nearly half his army has deserted, and the rest are in full retreat. It's likely the murderous Montaignes will find the hot sun just as distasteful to their delicate sensibilities!"

"Back at home the Swordsman's Guild has just confirmed the Torres school has become officially sanctioned. This markes the end of years of negotiations since the school first declined acceptance into the Guild in 1644."

"Looking for the rare and unique? Want a one-of-a-kind item for that special someone? Need a bargain? Look no further than Campos' Curiousities. Proprietor Alonzo Campos culls his stock from the rarest and most selective merchants from all across Theah! Ever changing, you never know what treasures you'll find, and what kind of great bargain you may strike at Campos' Curiousities!

Acalde Maradoña de Rivera wishes to inform all of Altamira the recent practice of hiding your gems and valuables is no longer necessary! Thanks to the efforts of several of Altamira’s newest arrivals, the neer-do-well known by the nom-du-plume, ‘El Ladrón de Las Gemas’ has finally been caught! Not only were they able to defeat his near-legendary swordsmanship (as witnessed by several of his victims), but they also returned many of the notorious villain’s ill-gotten gains. The thief is to be tried next week. Anyone who’s fallen victim to him is encouraged to give testimony at his trial. For details, speak to anyone in the Acalde’s office.”

"Looking to sample the finest wines Theah has available but don't have the time to travel to those distant lands? Look no further than Solamente el Mejor. Winemaster Marcello Garcia personally guarantees to have the most selective array of the best in Thean wines, liquors, and rare spirits available in Altmira. But remember, it's only the best at Solamente el Mejor!"

"The opening day festivities at La Venganza went off without a hitch! Nearly a dozen matadores including our very own Don Gallo! made a terrific showing in all events. El Assassino de los Matadores fought a terrific fight and was awarded his life in exchange for a top notch showing against none other than Alicia Zaneta de Lazaro. This virtually guaranteed the future prospects of the Santigo de Torres family where El Assassino was bred."

"The results of the contest at Altamira's Annual Paella Festival, sponsored by our very own De Silva Mercantile is still hotly contested as the chaos started after the results were announced nearly caused a riot at The Queen's Inn, and threatened to spill out onto the street, possibly to the detriment of innocent bystanders there to merely enjoy the festivities. Fortunately, timely intervention by some of Altamira's newest defenders lead to a quick resolution without bloodshed or loss of life!"

"On a personal note, Señor Luis Quienenes wishes to thank all the hundreds of people who've joined in the quest to find his daughter's 'missing' cat, Sr. Pocomullido. HOWEVER, he would like to point out that his daughter is highly alergic to cats and has a vivid imagination. In the future he would be very appreciative if heroes would give her a piece of candy instead."

"The Acquaronne Family would like to thank the anonymous heroes who saved their daughter, Lordana from her enslavement late last month. And they apologize for the seemingly random events which have been seen in the area southeast of town."

"An anonymous merchant would like to buy a round for whoever humored 'Mad' Macario's fancy and followed him around to find the bee that had insulted his sister. It's worth the cost of a few rounds for all the laughter he had at your expense!"

"For some reason, a pair of pants have been flying over certain buildings throughout the city. Anyone with information about why this might be (and who the pants belong to) are encouraged to speak with the Acalde."